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Los Angeles Intensive Tensegrity Workshop, August, 1995

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To:  The Ixtlan Mailing List
Date:  95-08-15 03:27:55 EDT

Los Angeles Intensive Tensegrity Workshop, August 13, 1995

Castaneda Lecture

Castaneda came out a few minutes after 4 PM, dressed impeccably, wearing a brown suit, brown shoes and a yellow and brown tie. [The chairs were closer to the platform this time, as promised. The members of his party again sat in the first two rows, although the young girl who had been introduced the week before (along with the presumed Blue Scout), as a "cyclic being," was noticeably absent. At the north end of the first row was the presumed Blue Scout, seated next to a young woman with very red hair, then Carol Tiggs, then Florinda, and then Taisha. Amalia was next to Taisha, and the Chacmools were next to her.] CC said he had planned to talk about the inorganic beings tonight, and that that subject seemed to have frightened some people.

Don Juan told him that, "Everything is the product of the interplay of twin forces." Situations always dichotomize -- for example, opposing cliques at work or other institutions -- and the system of sorcerers is to guide that dichotomization.

Once he was in Tula with DJ's party. Tula and its Valley were where all the old sorcerers of DJ's lineage came from, and where DJ had his home. CC was enjoying being with the splendid warriors of DJ's group. They were visited at the time by the Nagual Mathias, a new nagual of German heritage, who had been hit on the head when he was 14 and never recovered. He spoke strange Spanish, which he claimed was from the time of the Conquest. (And who was CC to say it wasn't?) He wanted to go to with DJ's group to Tula. CC was glad that the situation "dichotomized" and they didn't take Mathias with them. It seemed to be that they coalesced into "the good sorcerers and the bad sorcerers."

Sorcerers like to direct this division to get to "what is permissible." The same kind of dichotomy is true of our world. On one side is the organics' world -- including us and other organisms with awareness. On the other side is the inorganics' realm -- entities with awareness but without organic beings. "The structure of their world is different but complimentary to ours." The sorcerers found that the inorganic beings came to them in dreams. Dreams, at least certain kinds of special dreams, are "trap doors" that open for passage into the inorganic beings' side of the universe, and that allow them passage into our world. Only in dreams can we balance our energy sufficiently to perceive this other realm. Our velocity is otherwise too fast to perceive them at all.

The old sorcerers found that dreams gave access to the inorganic and other realms. They named the beings there "the allies." This term is not accurate, of course, since these beings were not able to act as allies in this realm, and they failed the sorcerers in their time of crisis. Since then, the sorcerers have stayed away from them. DJ felt that the only thing to do was to stay away from inorganic beings. The moment you use the trap door, "you enter into a well organized veritable world, whether you like it or not." Sorcerers train their dreaming attention -- developing it at the beginning by remembering to focus their eyes on any object and to focus for longer than a glance, and then to move on to another object, and then another.

They found that for each individual there is a threshold number of objects that we can focus on until the dream becomes something else. In non-ordinary dreams, once you reach this threshold point, you're off to something else. Such special dreams are heralded by something quite unusual -- for example, an image like flying fish. Once you learn to trap your attention, you can arrive at the threshold whenever "you hit a dream that is not a dream."

DJ gave CC the task of looking at his hands in his dreams, and CC turned it into an obsession. He found that he couldn't do it [and mimics himself saying to DJ that he can't find his hands. DJ said he could look for something else: "Look for your penis." CC mimics himself saying, in a whiny voice, "Make up your mind, once and for all. I don't like your jokes."] DJ told him initially to look for his hands "or something else," and he simply ignored the "something else" part. [This reminded him of a woman who kept a list of all the reasons she was special. He'll bring the list for us before the end of the workshop. On the list, for example, was the fact that a professor once told her, "You are way too mature." When CC questioned whether there was something missing in that statement, she talked to the professor and found out to her chagrin that he had been trying to say, "You are way too mature to act like an asshole."] CC saw everything else but not his hands. In fact, he only found his hands once in his dreams -- and then they weren't really his but some big hairy hands. [They found some plastic ape hands recently, and felt that the way they look, in cupped position, are depictive of how we as humans are -- with little grasping gorilla hands. He'll bring them in to show us.] But CC had actually succeeded with DJ's assignment without knowing it by focusing on all the other things in his dreams. [He is sure that his mentioning this command of DJ's had the same effect on those reading his books as it did on him -- making us obsessive about finding our hands.]

Dreaming attention is another source of discipline that renders us inedible to the Flyers. Once you cross the trap door, something comes to take you either to another layer of the onion, or to the dual universe of the inorganic beings. You control which direction you go by voicing your intent -- essentially giving an order, such as "Take me to your world." The only thing they listen to is a direct order, it does no good at all to plead, whine or act placatingly. You "don't order them in an arrogant way," but in a strong, forceful, convincing manner. ("If you are well brought up, you can say 'please' or 'thank you' too," he joked, "but it's optional.")

Once you voice your desire to go, these balls of energy take you. DJ told him to go elsewhere, and to not voice his intent to go to the IB's world. But CC has always had this strange proclivity to get himself into dangerous things.

As a kid, CC played trumpet, to get out of having to go to class. He'd tell the teacher that he had band practice, and then he'd tell the band leader that he had to go to class. So he ended up not doing either. Then he transferred to a new school, and the guy in charge of the band there told him they didn't need him. [He mimics himself in shock over the idea of having to go to class.] So he decided to render a trumpet unusable. At night, at his boarding school, he crept up to the band room and set a little fire, using a cord, to create enough heat in a trumpet's bell to turn the tone bad. But he "should have used a wire instead of a cord." The cord fell on a drum. So he then tried to put it out with water, instead of going back to bed where he wouldn't be discovered. But he wasn't strong enough to heave the bucket of water where it needed to go [he mimicked himself sloshing it part way], so he had to fill it up three times. As a result he soaked his feet. Then he returned to bed and, naturally, was found because the trail of wet feet led right to him. He'd ended up burning a whole wing of the school. His family had to pay for the reconstruction of the wing and for the instruments. He told his grandfather, his only ally about it. His grandfather only said, "How stupid! You should have used wire." His grandfather, a bit of a crook himself, was horrified at the boy's stupidity but not the nihilistic act of burning the school.

So CC is a "reckless idiot" by nature, someone who takes chances. DJ told him he would start hearing a voice, the Dreaming Emissary, but told him not to listen to it. One day he heard a voice, but told himself it was some kind of post-hallucinogenic effect. The voice, however, is from another world, and adapts itself for you. For him it started out as a man's voice, speaking Argentine Spanish, or English from the West Coast of the United States. It used endearing Argentinean terms -- like "flaco," "hijito," and "boludo." And the voice said that it would reveal to him anything he wanted to know. But its results "were always asynchronous." It would tell him something about someone two months after he had asked, or even 5 years later, by which time he didn't care anymore.

This dreaming emissary voice attaches itself to us physically. To him it felt physically like it was coming from the area near his liver.

The IB world is basically feminine, and by the end it was a woman's voice he heard -- "quite exquisite." Males are coveted in this world because they are a "little twist" on a female base. [He mimicked being "macho," and then really just a "little twist." Then he described how he once blew his nose so hard when he was at DJ's that he blew his adenoid out. His immediate reaction was to "go and show it to mommy." That then reminded him of working in a mental hospital, where a guy who had no feeling in his body wedged out one of his eyeballs and then brought it to the doctor saying, "Look what happened." Being only a psychiatrist and not a surgeon, the doctor fainted. The same patient later was found in the process of sawing off his arm, singing "Old MacDonald had a farm."]

DJ didn't count on CC's "imbecility." The dreaming emissary is a very appealing salesman. It says, "All you have to do is give me a word." The word is "forever." "If you give me your word, we could elongate your awareness to five billion years. You could see inconceivable things, like the heart of a star, and it won't burn you. You won't have to breathe. But, we can't force you, it's your choice." DJ told him not to fall for it.

The IB's are likewise consumed by flyers, and they want to join their slow speed to our fast one. The voice took CC one time to the IB's world and told him it was "populated by three types" -- those that look like undulating candles, round ones and others shaped like a bell. The voice also told him that there were other entities there that they couldn't show him unless he gave his word that he would stay. "All male dreamers [including DJ] report the same experience." Psychiatrists and other experts couldn't explain this experience to him, except as a product of CC's mind. CC eventually made endless trips there, and on one saw some energy that looked to him like girl he knew. The "girl" asked for his help. CC's one virtue, according to DJ, is that he would "jump in fearlessly to cut someone else's chains." He gave his word, his intent, which exhausted all his energy, and he was held there, although he succeeded in freeing the "girl." DJ and some of his associates had to come in to get him out. They did not enter through dreaming, but through masterful sorcery. As a result, CC knows this is a real world, a twin universe.

DJ planned to somersault to avoid the IB's world. But CC knows that we can't make the definitive journey without going through the "cousins' home." Even though that world "is heavily mixed with ours," DJ insisted on staying away from it. DJ was "into heavy denial." CC believes it is better to deal with that world now; to learn how to manage it before making the ultimate journey.

IB's can lower our speed and increase theirs, giving us either fleeting glimpses or sustained interaction. Women can do this fairly easily. Men must fight a lot more, just like men have to read a lot. "Women don't have to read so much. Well, there may be women philosophers who do." [Florinda looked uncomfortable at this point.] "And maybe German women, German philosopher women."

[CC said he was always asking, like many of us do, when he would be able to see energy, and when the sorcery practices were having an impact on him. Since people said they hadn't heard the "disgusting story" he told the previous Sunday, he repeated the story about DJ telling him the way to tell if he was making progress was to bend over and fart toward the east. If it was a big fart, he was making progress.]

The interaction of CC's group with the IB's is much greater than in DJ's time. DJ's stories of the old sorcerers don't help CC much in dealing with this world. All CC has to go on are his own observations, and the fact that the IB's "cannot lie." But they can only answer non-speculative questions -- i.e., is there a man on the other side of that wall? But not, why is a man there? or How did a man get there? This trains one to be very direct and "non-labyrinthical." Dealing with the IB's "forces you to become crystal clear, or the emissary of dreaming cannot answer you." CC has asked questions about the interaction between IB's and us, and they say it can happen, with tremendous sobriety.

The Flyers, or Jumpers, are also inorganics, that feed on all organic beings. Although the sorcerers have been unable to distinguish the details of the luminous eggs of non-human organics to discern this, the dreaming emissary has said "yes" to questions about whether the flyers feed on animals and other organics in our world.

CC doesn't hear the Dreaming Emissary's voice anymore. "They tricked me into a world long sought by Don Juan where human cognition doesn't work." Something pulled him through a "tube of longitudinal awareness," and CC ended up "on the left side of myself." Beings in that world see in 360 degrees, which causes them to take actions which are inconceivable to us. To get out of this world, CC was told he would have to be "twirled, causing damage to his retina." But the voice offered to bring him back without harm, "if he gave his word [i.e., to stay with the IB's]." CC decided that the only way out would be to adopt the attitude that he didn't care whether he came back or not, that this might somehow allow him to return on his own. Now he doesn't hear the voice anymore, and he misses it. He missed saying "thank you" to it, since it told him amazing, inconceivable things.

One of the tenets of the sorcerer's path is that you have to pay for things, or if you can't pay, you must at least give something of equal value.

The 10-year-old girl that he'd mentioned the night before [the Orange Scout, as best we can surmise], had to make a choice -- whether to say with them or to go back to her grandparents [presumably Florinda's parents]. "Decision is another tenet. Sorcerers see a horizon of buff-colored amber all the time." At some point, there is a "twirl" or swirling motion somewhere -- to our left, right or center -- that swirls clockwise from the observer's perspective. Then a door opens, and you see infinity through it, and a decision opens. This happened in connection with the 10-year-old girl. She decided to go with the grandparents, although she said she would like to stay with them for awhile. "We put her on a plane today." Her decision is final for them. The deciding factor for her was that she wanted tamales. Her grandparents gave her anything she wanted. CC's group gave her everything too, but wouldn't give her tamales or sugar.

DJ didn't care about choices, all he cared about was continuing his lineage. But choice is the only thing CC has, so how can he not respect it? So the little girl chooses to die.

CC went to see a famous producer once, about the possibility of making a film out of "The Teachings of Don Juan." The guy had a huge impressive office in Century City, and gigantic desk, and CC was seated way below him. The man had rings all over his fingers and was chewing on a cigar. He mumbled some question to CC, which CC couldn't understand. He mumbled again, and CC still couldn't understand and started getting very anxious. Then the producer took the cigar out of his mouth and asked, "Did the tribe mind?" Yipes, now CC could hear him but had no idea what he was asking, and didn't think he'd heard right. He asked him to repeat himself once again. Finally the man explained he was asking, "Did Don Juan's group mind that he gave you peyote?" CC was greatly relieved that at last this was a question he could answer, and he responded, "Yes." The man told him, "Now, there's a dramatic episode. This part about pissing on dogs leaves me cold." But he thought the scene with the other Indians being upset about his receiving peyote had dramatic tension. [CC mimics Hollywood Indians saying, "Let's burn him."] The producer also wanted Mia Farrow to play the love interest. She would stay behind and play "a woman who says, 'Don't take the drug!' And you do it anyway. That's confrontation."

CC's talked to lots of Hollywood people over the years. He can't bear them anymore. They all think the books are his fictional creations. CC explains that the books are just a phenomenological explanation of something everyone can do. "But no one told us before." He describes a well-known woman guru he had dinner with here in L.A. who kept handling the testicles of a big young masseur as she talked to him. CC finally asked the guy how he could stand it, and the man told him, "The answer is never be alone." CC asks us, "Is that the answer really, never to be alone?"

CC once had surgery for a bad hernia. It needed a mylar screen to hold it. On one of his Second Attention explorations he'd done something to damage the walls. He could have healed himself, but didn't have the time or energy. He described the doctor telling him all the risks of the anesthesia -- complete explanations from "a great man to another great man," all with CC naked. Then this gay Mexican comes in [the anesthesiologist's assistant?], and CC mimics the guy's rolling eyes and stereotypical mannerisms. The guy tells CC to "get in the fetal position." He then tells him that he's going to hold him, and that "it's not going to hurt you at all." CC found it absurd that this scene was possibly his "last scene" on earth. After he awakened, a nurse told him, "You want to watch TV, don't you?" And without looking at him or awaiting his reply, she turns on the TV and leaves. What he sees is Guru Rajneesh explaining about the woman taking $52 million from his little box, and that he believes the woman wants to control the world. Another absurd scene, that left CC laughing uncontrollably. CC wondered what this portended to have these two ridiculous images bracketing this potentially life-threatening experience.

"You are impeccable, and you state your intent. The rest happens." The old sorcerers never allowed their awareness to keep growing above the mid-range of their chests. By maintaining their awareness there, they made or were guided to make assumptions about the IB's and their ability to aid them on this plane that weren't true. If they had let their awareness continue to rise, above their heads, to cover their eggs, they wouldn't have made this mistake.

DJ said, "Let the result be outside your domain. Launch your intention, your effort, and then forget about it." Don't try to then control the results. CC advises us to try this on something not very important first. [He joked that we shouldn't let a multimillion dollar deal close itself, and, when it fails, say that Castaneda told us to do it that way.]

At 6 PM, CC began taking questions. The first, from Louis, was "How does one handle Inorganic Beings?" CC said, "You insist. But you have to give them time, because they move slowly." He made fun of someone waiting one or two hours and then giving up on them. He also said that he used to shout, "Intent!" and that one of their group, presumably Florinda, used to scream it at the top of her lungs [which he mimicked] causing her neighbors regularly to call the police. He also advised us not to be sheepish or have doubts about what we're saying to the IB's. "What you have for them is your discipline, the discipline of Tensegrity."

A man asked a question about the Blue and Orange Scouts, but CC declined to answer, saying it wasn't relevant to the IB's.

A woman asked how he escaped from the IB's a second time [i.e., when they took him to the 360 degree world]? CC joked [?] "I'm still there." He explained that that is why he squints. He told about going to two different eye doctors. The second diagnosed his condition as the result of CC having intense sex with "violent orgasms." He has learned to just take doctors' advice or conjectures, without trying to tell them how his conditions really came about. This doctor also "calculated my age" as 75, and was impressed that CC was having the violent orgasms leading to this condition at that age.

CC once had a bladder infection after one of his experiences. He went to a doctor under the name "Ramon Garcia." The doctor told him, "Ramon Garcia, what else could it be? Gonorrhea." CC made the mistake back then of trying to explain that, no, it was the result of a bout with a large energy configuration. The doctor then naturally diagnoses him as insane, with gonorrhea.

The famous psychiatrist CC once worked for asked him, since CC was so interested in ethnomethodology, whether he'd like him to put CC in the third floor with the mental patients, so that he could study them as a member of their group. CC asked "What if something happens to you [so no one would know that CC was not really a patient]?" The psychiatrist was sure CC could talk his way out of it somehow.

Thomas Gaul asked whether one can practice the dreaming attention and recapitulation at the same time. CC said, "Yes, you can call the dreaming attention at the same time." It takes very little time to do this, compared to the time we waste in front of the television.

A man asked a question about the Flyers, which didn't elicit much new information. CC said the Flyers are "all over us."

A man asked whether celibacy was important. CC said that, "If you're a bored fuck, yes." He told the story again about his cousin "Rigoti," and how his grandfather told him that CC -- "Arana" -- would have to talk his way in and "go through the window," whereas the handsome Rigoti would be let in through the door. His grandfather's motto, which CC had adopted, was, "You can't make love to all the women in the world. But you can try!" CC was born out of a quick fuck -- "behind the door" -- so he was always nervous. If you are born out of passion, it's no problem. You can have all the sex you want.

A man asked whether the size of the assemblage point had an outside limit. CC said it is usually the size of a tennis ball. He said that the only immense AP he had seen was that of the woman guru who was grasping the testicles of the kid. But her AP was very fixed in place, whereas it should be fluid. If someone's AP is fixed, they are the people who "know everything"; who know what's right and what's wrong. They are "foremost authorities" and are very stuck. CC explained that the only way to make the AP fluid is recapitulation. He mentioned that we, the audience, had been getting stronger as a result of being there ["some of you every day"]. It is great to intend the AP to be fluid.

A man asked about the Death Defier. CC said that would be the subject of his last speech.

A man asked whether the IB's were having seminars as well? CC laughed and said, "maybe." The man also asked whether the IB's are interested in a symbiotic relationship with us as well. CC said, "Yes. They are much wiser and older than us, and would love to merge with our speed. We are barred" from doing this, unless we dedicate ourselves to DJ's revolution.

A man asked about intent. CC said we'd get to it, along with stalking.

A woman asked if you can intend whether the energy ball you meet in dreaming takes you to the IB world or other places. CC responded, "Yes," but DJ had never told him that.

A man asked whether CC got DJ's allies, and whether he uses them? CC said, "No." He explained that they were entities of DJ's lineage that were very primitive. CC has "better things," so these entities "petered out." CC's interest is "elucidation," he wants the sorcerers' world "to be understandable in our terms."

A woman asked about ways to stop the internal dialogue. [CC made the pecking motion, and suggested that was an example, since you have to be very attentive to what you are doing.] The Chacmools drive with him and often don't say a word. They have shut off the internal dialogue so much they aren't even saying anything among themselves. "They've done Tensegrity so long, they don't talk anymore." Until you call them to speak, and then they won't shut up.

CC also told us not be ruled by statistics that say that we only absorb about 3 and 1/2 % of what we hear in a lecture. CC used to rely on that statement as grounds for him to go to sleep in lectures, since he was only going to get 3 1/2% anyway (or 5 1/4% when the material is repeated).

A man asked about the AP of plants. CC said that trees look like an enormous blob of luminosity, and their AP is way down by their roots. So trees do assemble perception, they do perceive. The entire vegetable world has AP's in "the bottom of their curve." They are usually flat, although some are geometric shapes -- diamonds, for example. The eucalyptus has a really contorted AP, that looks like it has teeth. (And CC was wondering if we knew why people say they are bad for the environment. Two people volunteered that eucalyptus poisons the ground around it; that it is "aleopathic.") Figs have an "exquisite" looking AP. CC told a story about being "nearly killed," by a fig tree. He was picking the fruit for Florinda, and one big one dangled in front of him saying, "Eat me!" CC has a hereditary fructose intolerance. But he proceeded to eat the whole tree. They found him unconscious. "I woke up two years later," he joked.

A woman asked about dichotomy, and how it related to Tensegrity. CC said that Tensegrity consists of tension and relaxation. We don't have to seek dichotomy, because the world dichotomizes regardless of what we do. DJ attempted to unify CC from the beginning.

A woman asked about the fact that people can't volunteer to be a part of the sorcerers' world. CC said, "No, your intent has made you bid for it." He said they are waiting for some action to reveal the next step [or words to that effect, I think]. "Our last palisade is the ego, and when that is unmasked," where can we go?

He told us to attempt the recapitulation and to exercise dreaming attention. He said some would take this seriously and then, "we'll see." If we do this, our lives in our daily world will become stronger, tighter. We won't be at the mercy of others, like we are when we are born into this world as "bored fucks."

A man asked about the connection between the Eagle and the Flyers. CC said DJ didn't know. He couldn't answer when CC asked the same question.

A man asked about the suggestion made a previous night about redirecting our attention, even at the toe-level of awareness, from the me-me-me position. CC said if he gave us instructions about this, it would be like DJ telling him to look for his hands.

A woman asked about the IB's and DJ's attempt to avoid them in making his definitive journey. CC said that DJ was the perfect example of an abstract warrior with the desire for abstract freedom, but speculated that his jump was minimized by the concreteness of the practitioner members of his party. One needs a very sober relationship with the IB's to navigate their world.

Tony, the Tibetan Buddhist follower who took the pictures of the Flyer at the pyramids, will be with us next Sunday. He's a "darling guy. He has these big eyes that circle around. He is an instant translator too." [The woman who was translating that day for the Spanish speakers told him she's so good she makes the same guttural noises he does.] Someone asked how Tony took the picture. There were "90,000 Mexican Catholic Buddhists there, and the Dalai Lama." Tony is "holy too." They call him "Tony Lama." He organized the event, and then took lots of pictures, rapid fire. One had this speck that he blew up. He took it to Carol Tiggs. When she showed it to CC, they took it as an omen that it was time to talk about the Flyers. DJ had told him never to talk about them, or "they'll burn you for sure."

A man asked about how sorcerers use names. What is their function? CC said that names aren't permanent. They depend on the stage of the road you're on. He is not "Carlos Castaneda" anymore. His whole body has changed, and he needs a new name. He "has another name, but it's not quite coagulated yet." To have one name only, forever, is "too weird, too monogamous."

A man asked about the universe having affection. CC said it is not that the universe is affectionate, but that we can make this link [of affection] with our impeccability. The force of intent or spirit is out there, but we must only face it with tremendous energy. If we face it in weakness, it "will destroy you." It's a tremendously enhancing force if you are strong.

[CC asked how much time was left, and Florinda told him "three minutes." CC said, "Give me a girl" with a question.]

A woman asked about how you come back from dreaming. CC explained that it's "like a rubber band -- you stretch as far as energy permits, and then something brings you back. And you don't even sweat." [He joked about wearing "this suit," his favorite, and it coming back with him in perfect condition, "ironed."]

He again mentioned the little girl and said that she was extremely intelligent and knew what she was doing. She had asked them to "please apologize to everybody for the silly girl who didn't know how to choose." CC seemed very affected by this statement. [He mentioned how we run from the wolves to get inside the door, that turns out to be only a door frame. There is no place to run in this world.] Someone asked if the girl would get another chance. CC said, "No. That twirling spot opens just once." He said he "had no regrets about that little girl." They acted impeccably with her. She made her decision, and now "she doesn't exist for him anymore. It's just a story, a poignant story he's telling us." That's all sorcerers do [i.e., they don't take on these relationships or events as part of themselves, but only see them as stories to instruct with].

   

To: alt.dreams.castaneda
Date: 2 Aug 1995 00:35:39 -0700

Aug 1, 1995 Tensegrity workshop in LA

Carlos showed up for this first meeting. It was a surprise to everyone. Several of the other members of his group had already been present, taking information, checking people in, even directing traffic. But when it was time for the Chacmools to make their entrance, Carlos lead the way. He walked quickly up to the front of the group and introduced himself. He was wearing brand new Levi pants, and a dress shirt with no pockets. He explained later that his shirt had no pockets because he used to be a smoker.

Despite previous descriptions of Carlos as short and homely, I found him to be short and handsome. He was elderly, but in a very vigorous way. All of his hand movements were quick and energetic, he bounced about during his lecture, pounding his hands on the platform at key moments. Even sounds in the room such as the slamming of doors often fell into line with the timing of his lecture. His eyes had the difference that a sorcerer's eyes are supposed to have. His left eye was blank and dark and slightly crossed from the other. He had straight, relatively short, nearly fully gray, hair. He was short, extremely slim, but slightly more muscular in his chest area.

I sure with that Rich had been there to take notes. As it is, I'll have to do it from memory. I was only a few feet from Carlos and he kept up constant eye contact with the audience. Taking notes would have been quite inappropriate. That means that my quotes will be off and my stories not quite the same as what Carlos said. But I'll try to keep the differences to a minimum.

Carlos started by telling us that people often ask him, "How come this Tensegrity stuff wasn't in the books?"

Carlos answered that it was, it was all over the place. He sited the example of don Juan cracking his bones. He told a short story of  how he enjoyed that so much that he started a conversation with don Juan about it. Don Juan suggested that he copy him exactly and learn to do it himself. That was the beginning of his Tensegrity training.

Carlos told us that don Juan once asked him if he didn't think it was strange that the position of the assemblage point of the entire world was so uniform. When Carlos said that it hadn't occurred to him, don Juan elaborated, asking him if it wasn't a really great mystery that with all of the places and cultures in the world that we all shared the common fixation with I, I, I, Me, me, me.

Carlos elaborated that we aren't born with that idea, but that it is taught to us and that we clutch the idea to the our very grave. He said that we go to the grave thinking "me, me, me". And at no time in  our lives do we give it up.

Don Juan explained that it wasn't our fault that we were like that, that something else was the cause. Then he described the flyers to Carlos. He said that seers had perceived something streaking by so fast that it was fast even to the eye of a sorcerer. These turned out to be possessors of awareness without a physical being. The feed off our energy, licking us until only the self-reflection energy is left. It's their intention that we never look anywhere else. They want us to just keep quiet and let them feed.

Carlos didn't believe in the flyers. During his lecture he emphasized how difficult it had all been for him to believe, being an academic and subconsciously considering himself superior to don Juan.

Carlos asked don Juan if he could see the flyers. Don Juan said, "Of course you can see them. But not in your present condition." Carlos wanted to know why, and don Juan told him that it was because he was "too fat."

At this point Carlos explained that he loved to eat bacon sandwiches at that time. He would eat 17 a day, and then another 12 peanut butter and jelly.

He also explained that for a sorcerer it wasn't appropriate to go to Bally's health spa or to exercise in an ordinary manner. He said that a sorcerer would only condition his body in that manner with Tensegrity.

Carlos explained the purpose of Tensegrity in the same manner as the Chacmools: to give a flavor to our awareness that isn't palitable to the flyers. But he also gave another explanation.

He described how some galaxies were thought to be held together by a gigantic black hole at their center. Although no one had proven that, it was the only thing that could explain why the planets hadn't spiraled out of the system long ago.

He said that the same concept could be used to describe us. We were a collection of luminious filaments with an even brighter glow of  awareness. Something kept that awareness from escaping into infinity. It was that force that held the awareness there which Tensegrity was directed at.

Carlos said that once asked don Juan if there was any way to know if the Tensegrity was working for him. Don Juan said that there was a test, but that it was too disgusting to tell him about. After being egged on in this manner, Carlos just couldn't resist and begged don Juan to tell him the test, even if it was offensive.

Don Juan said, "All right, but you have to promise to tell me the results, no matter how offensive." Carlos readily agreed.

Don Juan told Carlos to go into his bathroom at home, drop his pants, bend over and grab his ankles, and point his butt towards the east. Then he was to fart. If the tensegrity was working, it would be a long and volumous fart. If the Tensegrity was not working, it would be just a little peep.

Carlos explained that don Juan was very crude, but that he (Carlos) was guillable enough to believe the test. He actually tried it, and  reported the results back to don Juan. "I'm in really bad shape...", he said. Don Juan turned to his associates, laughing, and repeated,  "He's in bad shape!"

Carlos explained that don Juan's payment for teaching him had been endless hours of entertainment at Carlos' expense.

Carlos related the story of how don Juan cured him of smoking.

Carlos explained that he'd smoked since he was a boy, and that he used to get out of breath very easily from exercise, so he'd catch his breath by inhaling cigarettes. One time don Juan announced that they were going on a little trip to the mountains for 10 days. Carlos said that the place they were going was a place with extreme ravines and really outstanding landscapes. Don Juan told him not to worry about bringing anything, except maybe cigarettes since they would be gone for 10 days. He told him to be very generous and bring 50 packs.

Don Juan told him to wrap them in foil and cloth because the coyotes might carry them off, they just couldn't resist the intoxicating smell of tobacco.

Carlos said that he suspected something was going to happen, so the first day he smoked like mad. Then he went to bed, and when he woke up in the morning the cigarettes were gone.

Don Juan wasn't worried. He told Carlos, "How far could a coyote possibly go carrying a huge bundle of cigarettes? He's probably gotten them stuck in a branch or in a rock crevice not 20 yards from here. All we have to do is find the trail."

Don Juan spent the next 8 hours with Carlos trying to locate the trail. Carlos was chuckling at this point in his story. He said that the trail they found went up and down the most extreme ravines he had ever seen. Eventually they followed it to a very deep and dangerous ravine. Don Juan asked him if he really wanted to go down there after the cigarettes. Carlos said that at that point he was so desperite for a cigarette that he would have done anything. He went down, didn't find the cigarettes, and got stuck.

It was nighttime by then, so don Juan told him not to worry, he'd get him out of there in the morning. The next day don Juan found a very windy and roundabout path that allowed him to get back up.

I can't remember how many days had elapsed by that time in the story, but don Juan finally announced to Carlos that perhaps, if he would be willing to smoke some local "dark" tobacco, they could find some cigarettes in a nearby town.

Carlos said that he responded, "Of course, I'll smoke ANYTHING! I'd even smoke YOU if I could."

Don Juan then proceeded to show him the way to a local town, but after a while he admitted, "I'm getting old. I'm lost."

Carlos said that he was furious at that point. He confided to us that there were many times in his association with don Juan that he would have loved to have done harm to him, but that he was afraid of don Juan.

After a few days of being "lost", Carlos noticed that his ability to climb up and down the ravines was outstanding. And he no longer had any craving for cigarettes. At that point, don Juan announced that he was tired of roaming about with Carlos, that it was time to go home. He walked not 20 yards and pointed out that this was the road to home. Carlos said that the road had been there all the time, but that he hadn't a clue and actually believed they were lost.

A good portion of Carlos' lecture was aimed at dispelling the rumors and speculation about the chacmools. Carlos stated that he had tried to build up a base of serious practicioners on his own for years, teaching Tensegrity among other things. But he had failed. All he had suceeded in doing was providing lingo to unscrupulous people who actually went out and proceeded to bury people in dirt coffins and claimed to be able to teach them stalking and dreaming. Carlos looked incredulous as he said, "How could they possibly teach stalking and  dreaming?"

He said that the chacmools had, in an extremely short time, succeeded where he had failed. He said that his assemblage point was in a different place than ours, but that the chacmools were halfway between here and infinity.

Carlos emphasized that he would be talking to us again, many times. He said that he would be back to answer questions when both groups (the 2 classes) were together, I guess meaning on a sunday lecture.

Then he said that we should suspend judgement because this class was very special. It was designed to produce a specific effect on us. He looked around and said that he was looking at our heels, that he was looking for that "spark". He said that at the end of three weeks there would be plenty of sparks. Then we could talk. Until then, it was just one person talking to another, and he didn't have anything to say except, "Let's get a hamburger" and "What's your name?" But if we made the commitment to join in his incredible exploration, then he was bound to do everything in his power for us. He didn't want the knowledge to just die with him, to end there. He wanted to give it to us.

The last thing Carlos said was, "Let's Boogy!"

The Chacmools then came out to teach. There's no point to relating the tensegrity movements they taught, except to say that I hadn't learned them on the first tape or at any of three workshops I'd attended recently.

The teaching was very different, they were focusing in on VERY minor point. Yet they made these seem to be extremely important. For instance, we practiced just moving our thumb in tight to our hands, while lifting the arm ever so slightly, and looking for a feeling in our chest and armpits. Likewise, the horse stance used was shallower and there was an emphasis on turning in the toes. Kylie told us to look for a feeling of tension on the inside thigh, and also told us to practice walking around for the next three weeks, with our toes pointed slightly inward.

They also advised us to cut out refined sugar for the three weeks, cut back on starches, and cut back on fruit. Also, eat less salt. They emphasized that this course was special, and was designed to produce a very specific effect.

I asked one of the chacmools if the two course schedules, the A and B, were going to be the same thing. She stated that it had been planned that way, but that who knows what will happen energetically.

Well, that's all for tonight.

Dan

To: alt.dreams.castaneda
Date: 3 Aug 1995 23:50:36 -0700

I'm sure Rich will post some detailed notes, but for now, here's some quick ones.

Carlos showed up for both meetings today. At the second meeting, he got  so into his lecture that he went overtime and we needed to stay late to make up for it. The topic was mainly "poor baby" and I got the feeling  that carlos was feeling confident enough about the audience to be a little less diplomatic. For instance, he talked about other philisophies and said they'd become "unvital". This was part of a discussion about how different it is to live like a sorcerer and actually be involved in  exploring new worlds. Carlos said that if anything, he'd watered down  the books because the real thing was too foreign to us.

All of the group appeared tonight with the possible exceptionn of  Fabrizio (who might have been there but I don't know what he looks like) and Tracy.

The names of a couple of people in the group have changed again, so I'm  going to dump the Whos Who list. Rumor has it that they made fun of it, so watch out, they seem to know what's being said on this newsgroup!

Carlos laid out something only hinted at yesterday: They fully expect  some weird things to happen as a result of this workshop. Carlos told us to keep our fingers on the panic button because he wasn't our mother or guru.

He reemphasized that the chacmools are ideal for us because they're half way. He said he's no longer in this world. In fact, he couldn't project himself past the last sunday lecture so they had to move the last meeting  to tomorrow so that both groups will end on sunday.

That's all till rich writes in. I also saw a number of other people  taking really good notes, let's hope they show up here. If not, I'll try to remember what was said.

Last night I posted a message about falling asleep and dreaming while  driving on the freeway with my eyes open. Carlos suggested in tonight's  meeting that this might happen to us during the workshop. He talked  about seeing pine forests, but all I saw was christian outhouses...

At last night's workshop meeting, Carlos showed up and addressed all three of these topics a little bit.

About the tenant he said that the worlds they are currently exploring are  outside the traditions of don Juan's lineage (presumably because they are  created by assemblage point positions with a different shift than don Juan used, and more like what the tenant used).

About good and bad he said that neither existed from the point of view of  sorcery.

About DJ's mood he said that as a person, he (Carlos) didn't have much to  say to us. But that if we joined up with his purpose he would be bound  to help us in any way possible. He said he cared deeply about the condition of mankind and didn't want to leave without doing something to help. He couldnt' see letting don Juan's knowledge simply end with him.  Then he said that don Juan didn't share his concern, that don Juan didn't  particularly care for his fellow man.

On a related note...

Today Carlos came in at the end of a hard Tensegrity workout, and lectured us on the importance of doing the movements JUST EXACTLY the way the Chacmools specify, rather than the way "you feel" they should be done. He said that those movements, if done PRECISELY and diligently, will have the intended effect on your body, and on your energy body, whether or not you believe that they will.

So, discipline is the issue here.

Recapitulation I have found to be a similar story. My tendency was to want to futz around with all the little details, making sure I had everything "just so", rather than getting down for days and days and days and slogging it out. Well, I finally futzed all I could, and now I'm slogging.

Discipline. That's the thing, at least, for me...

A Lazy Boy,

To: alt.dreams.castaneda
Date: 7 Aug 1995 01:31:59 -0700

August 5th:

On Saturday Carlos took the B group and divided them into 6 small groups of about 25. He taught each of those small groups different techniques  as a prelude to Tensegrity. There were about 3 techniques or movements  taught to each. I was in group 1, and was taught about the shake energy.

At the workshop I was with someone and we asked Kylie if it was possible to read lecture notes and pick up techniques we hadn't actually been taught ourselves, and to my surprise she said, "absolutely!"

I found the techniques that Carlos taught me to be so intriguing that  I'm passing them on to you in as much detail as I can.

The techniques are designed to shake specific areas of the body. For instance, the shoulder blades are considered by sorcerers to be too big to be a fully evolved structure, they are considered remnants of some  sort. That means they carry the residue of something different.

To shake these, pull your palms WAY back, keeping them flat. Then do palm thrusts to the ribcage of someone in front of you. Your fingers will naturally point a bit outward, the hands at about 45 degrees with  the heel of the palm hitting. If you pull the hands way back, you'll  feel a huge shock to your shoulder blades, like a big thud.

Then swing those hands down and up over the head and strike downwards  with the palms to someone's shoulder blades. The fingers will poiint slightly inwards. This shocks your throat and ribcage in the front, in a line downwards.

Then swing the hands back, up over the bottom and strike upwards, like you were going to strike in the groin, but the hands are seperated about  1 foot and go to the level of the navel. Like striking the bottom of a  counter. This shocks the back of the spine from the neck downwards.

Carlos said that this would teach us how the different movements in  Tensegrity produce shocks in the body, and would wake up these remnant  energies in us.

To: alt.dreams.castaneda
Date: 7 Aug 1995 01:25:12 -0700

August 7th:

At the workshop someone asked about cyclic beings today (sunday). Carlos had Zaia and the child she had been hanging out with stand up. He said  they were cyclic beings. I guess he decided that the audience wasn't taking him seriously, so he reiterated that he was much too involved to  make things up, that this was a matter of life and death.

The child looks a lot like Zaia Alexander who is the dark haired woman who has the same general tone and hair color as Reni. But the child has shiny eyes and a more spanish look. They two of them hang out so much  that at one point I was sure that Zaia was her mother. By the way, I'm  not sure if Zaia is her name. If it were, it might change tomorrow anyway.

Today the child drew little thankyou cards and pasted flowers and tassles  on them and gave them to three or four of the members of the group. The  girl looks about 12 and is extremely well-behaved and patient. Zaia  treats her like both a daughter and comrad, it's really nice to see.  Zaia also pays a great deal of attention to the child, several times I was looking at the child and at Zaia to see if they looked related and each time she spotted my gaze from way accross the room and through 100  people.

To: alt.dreams.castaneda
Date: 7 Aug 1995 01:36:55 -0700

They are teaching a technique at the workshop called, "The male and  female winged fighter." They have said that this technique is "proper"  (belongs) to the death defier. It is one of two that will be taught which came from that source.

In the private group 1 Carlos was emphasizing how timid we are. He gave  the example of Cancer and fatal viruses saying that we were so timid that  we accepted that some things were permanent. Then he said that the  technique I mentioned about was for "changing grooves" (grooves,  groves???), like skipping from one record track to another. Thus if you  found something wrong with your body, even a handicap like fused spinal vertibrae (someone in the audience asked specifically about this), you  could change grooves and be free of any handicap or life threatening  situation.

The start of this technique has a movement where you pick up the leg (from a horse stance) and loop it up and back down, like the Tekki series  Katas of Japanese Karate (somewhat). Carlos demonstrated how you can change grooves with this movement by jumping to the side.

Danie

To: alt.dreams.castaneda
Date: 2 Aug 1995 11:52:01 -0400

One of Dan's recent posts indicates that Rich was there and took notes, so this post of mine may be unnecessary, but since I wrote this up I might as well post it...

- David Worrell

First Night.

I arrived a half hour earlier than the one hour early they asked us to be, and was directed, by workers stationed at various locations, into the cafeteria, after being stamped with a little heart that can only be seen  under ultraviolet light. The cafeteria is a long narrow rectangle with  the stage facing the narrow side. I took a seat near the center on the back wall since it was still quite close to the stage. Amalia Marquez walked through several times carrying a walkie talkie, and she appeared to be coordinating things. I hear many people speaking Spanish, and later, during the Tensegrity, the Chacmools would have those who spoke spanish exclusively gather around one of their people (a young woman I had not seen before), who translated for them..

They seem to have quite a few people working for them, who are wearing little badges with the picture from the cover of the Tensegrity video (with no names). One of the workers kept running over to the door marked  "Teachers" and knocking on it, but no one answered (don't know what that was about). At 6:30 (we were told to be there at 6:00) the place was not as full as I thought it would be.

Douglas Parnell of Cleargreen welcomed us to Los Angeles, and made a series  of practical announcements related to the facilities. Lectures may be here  in the cafeteria also, to keep the energy all in one place, he said.  The Chacmools then came in, along with a short, vibrant, gray-haired man  with a very expressive face, who did not introduce himself, but simply took off his coat and began to address us. It was Carlos Castaneda.

He said that he was scared to use the microphone and had us all gather around very close. I don't think there were more than 125 people or so  in here.

He talked about those present as being people who had a genuine interest in this alternative, as opposed to "detractors". Then he talked about how

to answer those who ask for "proof". Basically, the only way to prove  anything is "you go with me", he said. He spoke of how the proof of the law of gravity requires basic knowledge of physics to comprehend, and that you would have to take sorcery 101 to get his "proof".

He said that he is often asked, "How come you never mentioned magical passes in your books?". To this he replies, "I did!". Don Juan was always  stretching and cracking his joints in various ways, and he told Carlos,  "why don't you imitate it?"

He made the point again that: "the magical passes were discovered, not invented". Discovered by sorcerers of antiquity, over 10,000 years ago. Carlos said that always blew him away. He could handle say, 4000 years ago, but don Juan always insisted it was closer to 10,000. Anyhow, ancient  shaman could see energy as it flows in the universe. We can't. Our  involvement is controlled by our interpretation.

He then told a story about a "liberal" or "liberated" couple (he speaks  with something of a spanish accent, and occasionally I miss a word or two),  who lived together and finally decided to go ahead and get married. They  had a big wedding planned by their families which seemed in the end to  them to go against everything they were. While driving together on a trip, a little inner voice told the woman to go to a little chapel by themselves and get married, so they did. Carlos asks: "where is the revolution?". There was really no revolution. After all, all they did was get married.

He talked about how don Juan offered a true revolution. Carlos talked about how "conservative" he is compared to most modern people, and even compared himself to "Mexicans", whom he considers more "liberal" than himself (I believe he was speaking mostly in regard to sexual morality here). He even called himself a "momma's boy".

Carlos then talked about how he resisted don Juan's teachings. He said he did this "as a matter of principal". He was an educated and well traveled modern man, and don Juan was just "an indian". He repeated the story of Juan asking him if he thought they were equals (recounted in Ixtlan).

Don Juan asked him: "what do you want?" Carlos did not know; he couldn't really answer the question. Don Juan said that he could "summon up his entire life in an instant", and here Carlos did not even have an idea of what he wanted...

Don Juan said: "I am a navigator. I navigate into the unknown. To do this, I must know everything." He was a pragmatist who left no  stone unturned. Carlos thought the same of himself, but don Juan said to Carlos: "you don't even know where the stones are". Don Juan was truly "affected by everything he discovered" (unlike the academic who after classes is just like every other man). Don Juan was "a true pragmatist" and "a true scientist".

Sorcerers are pragmatists. Carlos exhorted us to: "Do it! Don't sit  and speculate."

He repeated over and over that the old sorcerers were able to see energy as it flows in the universe, and were capable of cancelling out the interpretation system that makes the world the world.

Carlos said that there is something in us that is not allowing us to examine detail. We gloss over any unusual elements, unless there is  something blatantly missing (he gave the example that we would interpret  the room as a room, unless perhaps the whole roof were gone or something  of that magnitude).

A sorcerers goal is: "to purposefully arrive at the cancellation of the  interpretation system".

He noted that the shape of humans of antiquity was more oblong or egglike, and that today we are round, like luminous balls. He then recounted the  way the assemblage point exclusively selects certain of the myriad luminous fibers which run every which way, and how when the position changes, the world changes, but all this takes place *within* the confines of the luminous egg.

He then spoke of how denying ourselves the experience of our totality is "not our fault", as "circumstances force us" to where "the only position possible is self-reflection". When there is a momentary lull in this,  nobody listens. There is something impinging on us...the universality of this ME ME ME, that never lets up until we die. WHY? Why so uniform?

This is very suspicious, the way we all die holding onto ME ME ME. The explanation: He recounted again the way the old sorcerers saw energy, the way they cancelled the interpretation system, the way they discovered  that in dreaming the assemblage point shifted---the further the more bizarre.  The old sorcerers used anything they could find to elicit that shift. They  found that "certain positions of the body gave an optimum level of energy". They discovered "different sequences of movements to get that feeling of  well-being", i.e. they discovered the magical passes, and guarded them with  rituals of secrecy. Now...in their practices they also noticed the presence of some unknown entities. These entities were the "fastest things they could perceive". They called them "flyers". They feed on us. Awareness  is a sheen like a plastic cover which makes us more luminous. The sheen  has been eaten away to our toes by the flyers. Self-reflection is the product of that fringe of energy at our toes. So we are not responsible.

The revolution of don Juan: to deny fulfilling agreements in which he  did not take part, i.e. not to be eaten. That was his choice. It was a conscious refusal on his part.

Now the scientist might ask: "can I see those flyers?" His answer is:  "you'll have to remake yourself".

To "moderate the body's internal tools": use the magical passes.

But as handed down by the ancient sorcerers, they were "murky, secret".  They were also modifed for different individuals through the ages.  They have developed Tensegrity for more general dissemination  (I am paraphrasing there), to "turn them into something applicable to all of us". Later in his talk Carlos said to "suspend judgment and see how extraordinary is the body".

Carlos noted that don Juan told him: "I'm younger than you", and it was true. Carlos said that then he was more like an old man, who could not walk very far, and smoked a lot (Carlos recounted the  story of how don Juan helped him quit smoking ---this story is in an old Magical Blend interview so I won't repeat it). Later in the talk  Carlos also noted how most of the people he grew up with are "geriatric cases", while he "can still jump" and is alive and fit. He did indeed appear quite vigorous (and by my calculations he will be 70 in December).

Carlos gave us an analogy: Like the stars---there are 400 billion in our galaxy---something is holding  them in a spiral. It is thought to be like a giant black hole. The human body is the same---as fields of energy you see a luminous ball of energy.

Without some cohesive force we would have escaped into infinity. That force is to be tapped. The intent is there. The passes have intention of their own built right in, to make your awareness reach  that binding force.

Carlos said he used to ask don Juan: "How do I know that I'm touching the force?". Don Juan said that the answer was kind of "gross", and asked him if he was sure he wanted to know. Carlos said yes, and so don Juan told  him he would have to go to the bathroom, pull down his pants and bend over and grab his ankles, and point his butt due east, and fart. Don Juan said that if your fart is "voluminous, fabulous...then you're on the right track". If it's just a little peep you are in bad shape. Well, Carlos tried it, and came back having to report that he was in bad shape. Don Juan echoed his words to everyone and they all laughed at him. The point: it's absurd. And Carlos reiterated how part of what don Juan got out of teaching him was endless enjoyment laughing at Carlos' imbecility.

Carlos said that we do not have a need to genuinely inquire... Instead we have a need to fulfill ideologies. He talked about some absurdities of theology, such as talking about the virginity of Mary, etc.

He claimed that sorcery is "the only philosophical inquiry remaining". It is "vastness itself". But we are "immortals preoccupied with ideologies".

A couple of fragments:

"Don Juan was not encumbered. He did not defend the self."

The purpose of "expressing the toes" is a lowly one.

With regard to his structure as a Nagual man, Carlos talked about how  "he is not of the proper structure to teach", and praised the Chacmools for finally managing to get a large number of people interested in the work to the point of practicing (he mentioned that all his efforts at this had failed). Carlos said that he was "made for tremendous stress", but not to teach (he quipped "you should see the stress in my personal life").

Carlos said that he was going to talk with us a lot, and let us ask him  questions. He said that we have three weeks, and told us to work hard to see if we could get to the point where he could talk with us some more.

He said to "suspend judgement", and do the work and then we would see.  He emphasized that there is no point in ordinary conversation, but that if we could work up the awareness, he would definitely be there for us.  Finally he said: "let's boogie!".

Then he picked up his coat and sunglasses, and left as we applauded. The Chacmools took over, and Kylie asked us how we felt, in a tone that implied she wanted us all to shout "Great!" or something. We tried, but there wasn't much spirit for it. She then asked us again, sort of like, "cmon, you can do better than that", and we all tried again to respond enthusiastically, but it was still a bit feeble and introspective (I for  one was feeling rather contemplative at that moment, and I was also a bit stiff from having sat for 45 minutes on the hard tile floor listening to Carlos, after having already sat there for an hour waiting for them to come).

Anyhow, Kylie then began by having us focus on some basics. She had us go over the "pulled in thumb" position of the hands. She talked about considering the flat (not cupped) hand and the forearm as a unit of sorts, and said there were two ways of doing the "locked thumb" position:

1) Just pull the thumb in to the side of the index finger tight.
2) Pull the thumb clear in and fold it across the palm.

We practiced both of these quite a bit, while extending our forearms in  front of us, palms up, and simultaneously pushing slightly upward with our palms, while looking to feel a feeling in our armpit/chest area, something like "lines of energy" extending down our arms. Then we went over the horse position. Legs at shoulder width, toes pointed only very slightly inward, knees bowed very slightly outward, so that there is some pressure on the inner thighs.

Specific recommendations of the Chacmools:

Walk with your toes slightly turned in for the entire three weeks. Cut out starches, refined sugars, don't eat too much fruit, don't eat extra salt, and drink lots of water. Eat lots of protein.

Nyei gave us a motto: "If you over exert it, you hurt it", after telling us to perform the movements with finesse.  It was emphasized a couple of times not to do the movements robotically,  and to try to feel the way your body does them each time you do them, without straining, and see if you can hook into the intent.

Nyei said that: "every movement is to bring silence". And to:  "focus on precision and allow some other type of energy to come in".

We were taught two new magical passes:

The "Butterfly positions", and "Pushing the Right Body to the Left and the Left Body to the Right".

The Butterfly positions had two parts associated, which could be called:

1) Butterfly fluttering
2) Butterfly in repose

The second movement (Pushing the Right to Left, etc.) was a very difficult one, and consisted of three separate arm movements combined with a sweeping leg movement.

I have decided not to describe the movements fully at this time, and instead I will focus on learning the movements with my body,  until I am certain I have them down pat, and THEN I will describe them if it seems appropriate (probably after the whole workshop is over).

- David

2

To: alt.dreams.castaneda
Date: 7 Aug 1995 12:22:16 -0400

Culver City High Lecture - Sunday, August 6th

Carol Tiggs, Taisha, and Florinda are here, along with a large contingent of the Cleargreen people. There are several men who are sitting in the second row behind the women. There is a young girl in the front row, who fits the description we have been given of the orange scout, sitting next to an ethereal young woman who fits the description we have been given of the blue scout. There is a woman with red hair in the front row sitting next to Carol (I'm not sure who that is). The Chacmools came in last flanking Carlos, who was dressed in a suit. Carlos took the stage.

"What are you doing way back there?", he said. I wanted to be right over you. "Now I will have to SHOUT."
"Who set up the chairs?" Someone says: "Fabrizio".
Several people started suggesting that we move the chairs. Carlos kept hesitating, seeming to think it would take too long and cause too much chaos
(There are about 250 people in here).

Finally, we all scooted our chairs forward, crowding toward the stage. Carlos began by saying he wanted to talk about the warriors way, and answer questions about it. He said that he did not want to answer questions that are have only personal relevance. He wanted us to ask questions that have to with the general PRACTICE of sorcery techniques.

Let me say before going forward that I did not take all that many notes. Carlos lectured, speaking rapidly, for two hours, and answered questions for an hour after that. What I say is going to be very sketchy. Many of my notes are just fragments, but several times I tried to get exact quotes. I left out many of the anecdotes completely. For a more complete version, read Rich's notes.

"Dreaming is a very serious affair." It comes to all of us provided we involve our discipline. Lucid dreaming deals with self-reflection (as opposed to a sorcerers dreaming). Personal comment: he did not define what he meant by "lucid dreaming", and personally I took him to mean "vivid dreaming where one is aware that one is dreaming, and plays around with the dreaming scene". A sorcerer's dreaming, by contrast, is very purposeful, and disciplined, and consists of performing specific volitional acts. (At least, this is how I get it)

"Sorcerers curtail the ego." He said that if we start getting into our ME, ME, ME routine, that he might say something to us that seems a bit harsh. "If I do something to you, it's designed to make you stop for a second...DJ was an artist of the maneuver of stopping us".

He talked about how, as Joe Cortez, he went to see an astrologer, and was told that he was a mess, and that he would need his chakra's aligned or some such thing. He came back about 6 months later as Carlos Castaneda, and this time the astrologer went on and on about his beautiful, spiritual aspects, and his brilliance, comparing him to her guru, etc.

He talked about some of the letters he has received. An example: "My spiritual advisor told me my energy is just like yours. You want me?"

He talked about when he went to give a lecture to a group of "Spaniards", who confronted him with a very serious demeanor, set stone-faced through his best jokes, etc. One man stood up and asked him: "What do you see?" Carlos is like..."what?". The man repeats: "What do you see!?". Carlos finally says: "Um, I see you." The man says: "Don't you see that I'm just like you---you have three compartments (of energy), and I have five!". Carlos quips: "How could I be so dumb to only see a turd (?)?"

He talked about how nothing personal has relevance, and went on about "the encumbering weight of ME". By focusing on this, "we have let something win by default", and will never actualize our possibilities.

He told us: "you took the trouble of coming all this way; make it worthwhile...". Go back with the sensation that it is worthwhile to get rid of this encumbering weight. "Make this time in this world extraordinary".

He talked some about reincarnation. He said, "that's putting too much emphasis on us". He said that the idea of coming back over and over until we are "perfect" is absurd. "Perfect for what?", he asked. "Enjoying forever the presence of God? Absurd." He also noted that reincarnation "puts too much emphasis on man", as other species are thought merely to evolve into us. Besides, he said DJ used to ask him: "Where is this perfect man? Where?" pointing out that if it were true, there ought to be at least a few men running around who are very nearly "perfected".

He said that the "fleeting images" many people have of past lives "come from your genetic frame". Why couldn't they be coming from your grandmother's life, for example?

He talked again about how our ideologies are absurd, and said that sorcerers have "the desire to really think, not merely repeat empty ideologies". Sorcerers "Come down to earth." They are "pragmatic", and "sober".

Then he talked about people who are "bored fucks". He said that if you were conceived in "passion" then you have lots of energy, but if you were  conceived in other circumstances (and he went into several humorous scenarios here), you will not have much energy. He said that you will have lots of energy "especially if the mother is excited". He said: "if she has an orgasm, you are in great shape". DJ told Carlos that he (Carlos) was a bored fuck. And Carlos said that when he began to think about his parents, "he got desparate". His parents seemed so dull that he thought: "wow, I was done for!" But don Juan told him: "Don't spend your energy. Hold on to it and a moment will come when your power is equal to the best." Nothing is final in the sorcerers world. "But the first stand is to know which you are."

He talked about how we always wind up doing what our parents want, one way or another, no matter how much we may petulantly protest against our parents. He said that anger is the idiotic way of protesting. The sorcerer has: "the refusal to surrender". He said that even if you are a bored fuck, "there is enough".

He said that DJ told him sorcerers seek "a chance to go through". Go through what? Here he mentioned "the force that lends us awareness---the moment we die it reclaims it", and that "it has lent you energy to enhance it." Then he talked about how this force just wants the enhanced energy from the experiences of our lives, but "that doesn't mean it has to take our life force". He said: "life experience and life force don't go together; it's not necessarily so."

The sorcerers maneuver for taking advantage of this is the recapitulation, where sorcerers "relive their life experiences". In doing this, "they are giving the force that lends us energy what it wants".

He spoke briefly about just where a sorcerer goes instead of dying the way most people do. He always asked don Juan where sorcerers went when they take this option. "Where?" He said: "I don't know...But don't be an idiot, take it!".

He talked about how most of us don't really live the dreams of our lives, and said that most of us live "sitting in our chair". He gave us some example stories of people who had dreams of doing things and going places, who only READ all about it, and then did not even want to do it. He said that wasn't the way for sorcerers, and that "we have to be there". He said don't sit and hesitate, wondering what is in it for you, and what about this and that, that "when a new door opens, take it!". None of this endless procrastination with: "Why should I do this?" "Where will this get me?" What's next?" Rather, he said: "just take it".

Speaking of just what it is that a sorcerer "gets" out of doing this, he said: "whatever you gain is indescribable".

He said that for sorcerers: "the recapitulation is mandatory." In doing this it is important that "he creates a facsimile of life, that is accepted by that force."

In doing his own recapitulation, Carlos said that "it put me face to face with my repetition", and "I had very few maneuvers at my disposal". Don Juan said something along the lines of "Hey, don't give up! You have two tricks; most only have one". Carlos said that his main trick was his "poor baby" routine. He talked about how his grandfather sponsored this in him, but he had forgotten about it, and adopted it as if it were his own. He said that he had also forgotten "all the barbarities that went with that maneuver", and emphasized how astounding it was to see himself so repetitive.

The recapitulation forces the assemblage point to move ever so slightly. This eventually "lends it a great fluidity".

In doing the recapitulation, first "set up the image in your mind". Just take a person and get all the details of the interaction. Set up the scene first... Get the general scene...the door...the walls...pictures on the walls?...carpeting? windows?...etc. This is called "setting up the scene". Then "breathe in everything that you left in there" and "exhale everything that is not yours". First "breathe in the scene", and "then tackle the people---get what they said--- what you said". Get everything you felt.

Carlos said that in recapitulating he "got back in time to the first time I ever felt (a particular feeling)". He said that eventually he reached the ability to get "inconceivable detail". At the end, "you are not the same person".

He warned us that you will "get tired, disgusted", but to "keep at it". The mind gets fatigued and will start whining "quit, quit!" But "just keep at it". In the end, "the fluidity you acquire is really indescribable".

With regard to DJ, Carlos said that eventually he got to a pragmatic level, and said: "I'm following this man's assertions to the best of my ability", because he wanted to fight this force that is destroying me (or something to that effect). Carlos said: "unless you dedicate every beating of your heart...it will get you." He said that anything less than this is a bunch of horsefeathers.

He praised don Juan's impeccability, saying that he still feels "I could never be like him--- he will forever be a lifetime ahead of me."

Following the warriors way will allow you to make "a probe, a query". It will at very least "allow you to get old with more style".

The sorcerer is "the only being that doesn't leave a single stone unturned." On the other hand, science: "will not cure us from self-reflection."

Don Juan used to ask Carlos: "What have they done to you?" Carlos spoke of what bad shape we are in and of how we are supposed to "love ourselves", and noted: "what a terrifying contradiction!"

"The sorcerers first line of attack is self-reflection." "It has to be stopped or minimized." "Your 'wonderfulness' is not congruous with a journey to infinity." This is why "questions must refer to what we are doing." DJ "demanded that I pay attention to every detail of the world and what we were doing." If we talk about an event, "make the event the main character, not you." For a sorcerer, "the man no longer exists", and "the others are feeding material for the flyers."

What we are trying to do with Tensegrity is to "entice a different kind of physical force." He spoke of generating "the energy that makes you shake". Carlos said "it's not the muscle; it's something else", and related how he has asked physiology experts about this "something else" without getting a satisfactory answer. He showed us in motions the difference between ordinary muscle actions and the quick tensing movements of Tensegrity.

Carlos began to exhort us to try harder, saying "really go all the way". He claimed that "most of us know that the world will not get better". He spoke of how there might be younger people still harboring dreams of "love", but that most of us are old enough to know that things really won't get any better as we are. So...he said to: "execute the movements to perfection". If we do, this will "create a state of profound physical and mental amenity".

Then we can "take a tiny...just a minor...jump", to where he is (did I get this right?).

The two main items are:
The magical passes and
The recapitulation

He simply spelled it out.

If you do these things, "avenues, doors begin to open...mysterious doors." He said "I needed don Juan because I needed to explain to you..." but you don't need anyone.

Fragment: Carlos said: "my mind doesn't wander, ever." (My mind must have been wandering)

Then Carlos talked about the "twenty eight generations" of warriors in his line, and how he "must close it". He said: "I must lock it." He emphasized that this is something he takes totally seriously.

This came about when don Juan was pointed to him by the spirit, and had to take him. They found out that he was not of the proper configuration for  a nagual to pass on the rule as given. He said that DJ was "stuck with him" and "had to do with what he had."

"Destiny, the spirit, had put in front of him the last link of the chain...he poured on me everything he had."

The main issue is "impeccability--- the decision to act the best way we can and a little bit more". If "nothing is too much" you are in the realm of impeccability. In this realm, "no matter what comes", you take it as a challenge. If it defeats you, "waste no time in laments", and "go to the next one". Impeccability is "fluidity". It is "no regrets".

To do your ultimate best you have to know who you are. Hence: the recapitulation. And you have to be in good shape: the magical passes. The passes entail "years of labor, thought, and intent."

"I'm closing the line. This is my way of locking the door...Otherwise only a few will experience it."

"Perhaps we will do more than don Juan ever dreamed...who knows?"

"We will talk more as you do the exercises and see what I can tell you next week."

Question and answer period. My notes are even more limited here.

Q: "Why are there no men in your party?"

Carlos has all the men rise (there are 6 or 7 of them---I don't know them all).

Q: "You have all this help...we don't. How can we do this by ourselves?"

You don't need anyone. You need "intent". You need a "sense of desperation". That is what you need "in order to move". You need to feel "this is your last chance", "your last call". DJ said: "you are facing infinity". He gave us a "rule of thumb":

"if you have no place to go except onward in the warrior's path...then you face infinity."

You have to feel "what would I do?"  (without the warrior's way). Feel the "despair". "Where are you going to go?" Without it... you are heading toward your heart attack. Your only real choice is to "impeccably remain within this warrior's path." Otherwise, "what are you looking forward to?"

Q: What happened to the old party (the genaro's, the little sisters...)?

"They were not congruous with me. He explained that "whoever is with me will have to learn to read" (serious reading). The others thought he was insane and told him to "blow his barracks". They tried to get him to come with them. They were simply taught to be pragmatic sorcerers. But Carlos said that DJ "brought a revolution, and you have to be very sharp to grasp it." Evidently, Carlos kept trying to pull them in his direction, and they kept trying to pull him in theirs, and Carlos "spent years in this stupid battle trying to pull them toward him". In the end, "they gave up---and don Juan scooped them up". He swooped down like an eagle and just took them. "Where?" "I have no idea. I have all kinds of speculations."

Possible: "in another of the thousands of skins" (of the onion). Wherever they are, they are "infinitely better off than my grandfather".

Q: We are constantly living. Should we continually recapitulate all our experiences as we live them?

YES! "Constantly recapitulate what you have done--- at the end of every day"---in a matter of half an hour--- do it "compulsively"---"religiously every day"---then "carry on with the main event" (your formal recap of the past).

Re: the details of the procedure: The favorite trick of the mind is: "I'm so confused."
"Do not fixate yourself on little details."
"Do it!"

Q: Someone asked about Dreaming...

"If you have enough energy, you could acquire dreaming awareness. Dreaming is: "the intelligent utilization of a natural disposition of the assemblage point to move in normal sleep." Sorcerers "do not control where the A.P. moves, they simply control the vision at the new position. This "requires discipline---to maintain the vision of that new world." It requires "balls of steel". "Shift---and keep it there, and see what  the hell happens."

"Maybe someday we'll have a dreaming seminar."
"Who knows! I am the last."

The ultimate act of sorcery is: "dreaming ourselves."

Q: Someone asked something about what we should do with our intellect...

He said to use the intellect, write papers. He said to write intellectually about whatever it is that  you do. He described a scenario of using the intellect carefully and diligently every day from 8:00-5:00 and then "at five o'clock, you are the being who is going to die."

Q: Another question about him being the end  of his line...

He said that DJ "read my energy to be the end of his line", and that "it is the natural condition of order to come to an end, and that "his lineage, as an order, came to an end."

Carlos noted that it often made him "feel like weeping", and told us not to mind if he did that, that it is really good for you, and gets rid of toxins and such.

In response to questions, Carlos talked about the flyers, and how they eat our awareness rather systematically, as if we are chickens in coops (organized conveniently in cities for them), and he reemphasized how it is the flyers that give us our ideals, and how terrible this is.

He talked a bit about DJ's conception of "heaven". And he told us about "the pace of heaven" - and mimicked the way everyone must walk in a slow and peaceful dream "for eternity". He talked about how no one must make any noise, and must keep very quiet, "just like here".

He described how it could be compared to "Jewish store", where the storekeeper had two sons: One was St. Peter, the "good son" who kept the books and such, while the other was out on the streets selling (this would be Lucifer).

Again, he is illustrating the absurdity of the ideologies man has been fixating on for centuries, due to the flyers. He notes, that with such ideals, we have "no time to ponder anything else".

He talked about how the people down in Mexico were worried that he was going to drain their energy to make himself stronger. He said that this really is not possible.

He spoke of how "we are contained units"--- thus a sorcerer's "attempt to transcend those boundaries". He said that "energy can only come via you", and to "clear the debris, and allow the energy to stand on it's own, noting that if you clear out 90% of the "horseshit" you do, you will have 90% more energy.

Q: Someone asked about intending ourselves forward, ala the Death Defier...

He said that we are going to talk more about the Death Defier, and that we are even going to learn two of the Death Defier's magical passes.

Q: Someone asked why they would still have to work normal jobs as a sorcerer?

"Why still work?" "Your impeccable gesture." "We would like to pass by without being noticed." It is just "a gesture with this exquisite world" to work.

He made some fun of this question, as it is "from the toes".

Q: About cyclic beings...

"All of us are united with others by a single strand of energy". This "makes us so homogenous that we are one and the same person". Carlos said it is difficult to find who are those beings.

He recounted a story from a Separate Reality where he went to plant a plant he was given and was acosted by three "entities" who were assuming the form of people. I believe he then made the point that those entities were cyclic beings for him, "attached to the same wheel" as he was.

He said: "some of us know where we belong to". He related that: "the lines of cyclicity transcend this world---they go into infinity".

Cyclic beings are like: "one mind in two persons".

At this point he asked if we would like to see two cyclic beings, and he had the two people that we think are the orange and the blue scout stand up, and face the crowd. There was a definite similarity somehow, even though they are also quite different.

Q: A person asked a long question about the  fear of leaving behind the familiar world...

Carlos said yes, that this is "frightening for the ego". He said that one can "suppress the self-reflection, and there is no fear."

A fragment: "chuck it all---let the movements flow".

Q: about the inorganic beings...

He avoided this question, saying that we are going to talk extensively about them later. He did mention that DJ promoted "an aversion to the inorganic beings".

Q: about seeing animals, and what they are like and what they share or don't share with man...

Carlos said that in animals, the sheen of awareness is different, so sorcerers can't completely SEE it. He said he used to ask DJ questions like that, and DJ always said he couldn't answer them. He said that "he could see the bulk of energy, but not the details". Carlos said that it would require greater "mass" to SEE across lines of speciation like that. Here followed a detailed discussion of how through the ages sorcerers have never had enough mass (owing to their being so few of them), to do many things. Carlos said: "if enough mass was involved, we could cut across lines of speciation---mass is of essence."

He said that DJ could never do this, and noted that perhaps he "left it up to me" (he noted  how we may be gathering the mass now, as after all there are 250 or so people in the room).

He went back to talking about the movements, and said: "do them impeccably, over and over and over". "That's the challenge; that's the test" (and here I am typing this monumental thing, damn).

Carlos said that "our biological mandate is to reproduce", but now it is "time to turn it into another mandate equally powerful: to evolve". He spoke of how we are "being stopped as a race", and of how we would need to evolve FIRST, and then reproduce.

He told us to "examine the social order", saying "the social order is our shield", but "it no longer protects us as a race". Therefore: "it is time to evolve".

Fragment: "The Flyers are the Lord". This is..."a terrifying position".

Q: How much Tensegrity is enough?

Do "as much as you can". Carlos told us to "use the mass" (of all the people doing it together), observing that "we are cushioned" (in this group). Here, together, we are "oozing this millieu of energy--- but go home and you are alone."

Q: about the spirit...

The spirit is something you "cannot see" and "cannot feel". You can say that "something allows you to use some unseen force", and you can notice when it acts, as "the effects of the spirit are palpable." Carlos said, "sorcerers can't see it as energy---only the results." He speculated that if our large gathering here leaves some major result at the end: "that would be a manifestation". One can not say "there that is the spirit, right there", rather one notices "post facto--- after it happens" and says "this is the spirit ---it's unavoidable".

The intent of the passes is to "displace the assemblage point to ideal locations within the luminous egg. He talked of how there are other positions obtainable that are actually outside the egg, but maintained that what we are interested in with Tensegrity is to "remain truthful to what we are, but grow in strength, in sobriety."

Q: about disabilities or injuries in relation  to Tensegrity...

He reiterated what the Chacmools had said, not to strain. He said that if one body part is injured or incapacitated, to use another part. If you can't move one thing, move something else.

He went back to talking about "mass", and about how if you have "total conviction", then "all you need is presence---then something inconceivable will happen. He gave the example of research that has been done on ant colonies, where when there were 50 ants together, they all just wandered around, but when there were 52, they metamorphosed into an intelligent working system. Sorcerers of the past have never been able to gather much mass.  Working with the rule, and accepting only those pointed out by the spirit, their numbers have always been small. Carlos left me with distinct impression that no one really knows what the possibilities are, should we actually succeed in attaining "mass".

That is all I wrote down, and I didn't write even half of it. Whew.

- David

To: alt.dreams.castaneda
Date: 24 Aug 1995 14:03:01 -0400

At the workshop, Carlos mentioned that the man who first brought him to don Juan had died not too long afterwards, and he told us that don Juan had *seen* that the man was about to die. This was related to us as being the first in a series of what Carlos said were many omens and discoveries that led don Juan to the *inescapable* conclusion that Castaneda was to be the end of his lineage.

So, it was there even in the beginning...and cannot by any means be attributed to the actions or personality of Carlos, as it was don Juan who first made the discovery, long ago. Carlos told us this early in the workshop, saying: "don Juan read my energy to be the end of his line", and "it is the natural condition of order to come to an end". And because it is the end, he has an intense drive to give the knowledge to as many people as he possibly can, so that it doesn't just end with them.

It was revealed publicly, as long ago as the Eagle's Gift, that don Juan knew that Carlos was not the right energy configuration for a Nagual man of their lineage, and for this reason could not lead the party that had been gathered for him. At the workshop, Carlos said that don Juan knew by then that the spirit had put the last link of the chain in front of him.

Carlos has described his and don Juan's intent for the end of this lineage as being like an "open-ended explosion". Now, thinking about it, this has *always* been evident. Witness the long series of best-selling books, which are truly unprecedented in the world of sorcery. From the beginning, Carlos created a huge opening into that world.

Carlos has reported that behind that obvious gesture was don Juan, who had him write those books, as acts of sorcery. But why publish them far and wide? For the few who could jump at a chance to have a chance. And so, it was known for many years that Carlos was to be the end. The spirit had spoken, and don Juan's task to Carlos clearly reflects what had been said: "Take it to the masses".

At the workshop, Carlos related that, since don Juan knew he was to be the end, "he poured on me everything he had". And Carlos has, to a large extent, poured it on us. First with all those books, and now with Tensegrity. Tensegrity is fully consistent with this thrust, with this attempt to go out "with a bang".

This is something never tried before. And if it works, it will be, Carlos said, "something never seen before". At one point he wondered aloud, "who knows, we may do things don Juan never dreamed of".

We were told at the workshop that Tensegrity is a gate. A door. If you would make a bid for the sorcerers' world, it is an avenue. Carlos said to those who came, "this is your bid". To do Tensegrity, he said, "is the test". If you do it, and if you succeed in raising your awareness, then he will find you, and he made it clear that in this case, he is "obligated to do everything in his power for you".

Sound good? Yeah. But to walk through that door will require us to work harder than we could ever have imagined. Will we? Carlos reported that don Juan said he would "remake himself ten times over for the chance to have a chance". Will we? Or is playing "net personalities" arguing possibilities really much more appealing than working our balls off every day of our lives?

(Aside in speculation mode: Regarding the daily practice of Tensegrity...

Since the techniques were discovered in  Dreaming, and were intended to bring the well-being of Dreaming into the daily life, it follows that the lives of those who practice it will become more and more "like Dreaming". One of the noticeable effects of this should be arriving at states of internal silence, since in Dreaming one is much more silent.

Carlos also mentioned that if you do Tensegrity, "the crazy thoughts will come". I think I have experienced a couple of times what he is talking about. One simple way of describing it would be to say that something like the Dreaming attention starts to function in conjunction with one's normal thought processes, i.e. you start having lapses of dreamlike states in the middle of full waking consciousness.

Another way of describing what I have experienced would be to say that I started feeling like I was somehow becoming extended into the environment around me, and thinking, as if from the point of view of other parts of the environment, in strange *bodily feelings*.

For example, to *feel* like a lamp would *think* about light flowing out of me, or to *feel* like the air would *think* after just passing through a fan, maybe in the form of a funny little song, or...well they are kind of crazy. Expansive *bodily thoughts*. Lightening fast. One after another, as if one is melting into the environment. As fast as you realize one has happened, another one is upon you.

Hmmm...that was a long one.)

There were hundreds of people who attended this latest intensive workshop, and Carlos came to them *every day* to pour himself upon them, plainly doing just what he said: bypassing his mind to bypass their minds, to speak with his energy body directly to theirs. It jibes. He is deadly serious. He is looking for "mass". He is trying to actively foster this "open-ended explosion".

And think of it! What if it worked! Try to imagine what *hundreds* of sorcerers might be capable of! He gave us examples of ancient cities where whole populations had flown away into the second attention.

(Aside in speculation mode: It even follows that some of these sorcerers *might* be Naguals themselves. Who knows, there might be half a dozen Nagual men and women involved in such a mass exodus. But there would be no traditional party gathered for them, and their presence would *not* change the open-ended nature of the end of Carlos' direct lineage, because it was dictated by the spirit long ago that it is to be blown wide open.)

One other factor here makes it very apparent that this really is the end of their lineage...

The Death Defier, who had taken energy from their lineage for many generations, also came to realize that Carlos was to be the end of this lineage, and this was his reason for "merging" with Carol (see the end of the Art of Dreaming).

At the workshop, Carlos explained that the Death Defier knew that his source of energy was running out, and that he would have to put his money on them. It makes sense. If they are not the end, then why is even the Death Defier packing his bags and jumping on the train?

In the last chapter of the Art of Dreaming, don Juan tells Carlos that due to what the Death Defier has done, he would eventually arrive at "another time, in another world; a more vast world, open-ended; a world where the impossible might even be feasible." That time may be coming soon.

(Aside in speculation mode: Thinking about it, it now seems very clear that Carol Tiggs didn't leave with don Juan's party at all, and at the end of the Art of Dreaming, when don Juan said: "she's gone from the world", well, she was! So Carol left *before* don Juan's party, when she merged with the Death Defier and flew forward on the Wings of Intent, only to shock the hell out of Carlos by "landing" 10 years later, then finding him in the old Phoenix bookstore in LA. I only call this "speculation" because I don't recall it being explicitly stated in this way. )

The end of the Art of Dreaming contains other clues to the possible nature of the "open-ended explosion":

Carlos, to Carol:
"I am coming apart...I am about to weep for people... I intended it as a joke. But she did not say anything; she seemed to agree with me."

Carol, to Carlos:
"Fear is nothing compared with affection. Fear makes you run wildly; love makes you move intelligently."

Both of those quotes are from the time when they were "intending in the second attention", of which Carol said: "you and I are dreaming ourselves in another time. In a time yet to come." Notice that this is fully consistent with their current statement that Carol's return opened up a whole new arena of action.

That "time yet to come" may be upon us. Carlos is still preaching the power of fear. But Taisha let the cat out the bag, at Omega. And all I see and feel coming from any of them is affection. A strange, ruthless affection.

And the "mask of generosity" is no longer a mask.

- David

To: alt.dreams.castaneda
Date: 3 Sep 1995 11:42:54 -0400

My first (and so far only) experience of having one of the full-fledged sorcerers contact me personally in any semi-significant way (as minor and innocent as it may be), was as follows:

Because I was wearing gym shorts with no pockets for Tensegrity, I had been  carrying my keys around in my hand, and I had left them at Rich's sister's place, after we had gone over there to share insights on the passes.

When we went back to the Workshop, just as the others were going in I realized I had left my keys and therefore would not be able to leave, and would just have to hang out until the session was over (I was only in the A group).

I spent the first 30-40 minutes sitting outside fairly far from the door, but I could see CC on the stage inside, and I watched from time to time as he lectured and began to lead everyone in the warmups. Throughout this time I was intending internal silence, with some small successes. Then I decided to get up and practice walking for a while (using a combination of "the right way of walking, and the toes turned in walking"). I did that for 30 minutes or so, all around the school area.

Meanwhile the sun was going down, and I was wearing only a very thin t-shirt and gym shorts, and had begun to get rather chilly. Finally, I went back to the Workshop area, and this time sat down at a table over on the side of the building nearer the door, where the sea breeze wasn't blowing on me. But I was still getting colder and colder.

About that time, a tall caucasian man and a shorter Latin looking woman walked up, and Douglas Parnell seemed to know them and he signaled some of the witches to come out. Florinda and Carol came out and embraced and kissed these people, and then they all went inside.

Shortly after that, Carol came back over to the door, and looked out in my direction, and then seemed to have brief words with Douglas, either about me, or about something out there in my direction (I looked over my shoulder to see if there was anyone else out there behind me). Then Kylie came over and talked to Douglas, and again, they seemed to be talking about me.

A minute later, Carol came walking out the door and right up to me (inner gasp), and asked me if I was waiting for someone who was inside. I said yes. She said that I might as well come in, and took me by the arm and led me inside, and told me to blend in somewhere. I went back toward the very back of the room, as unobtrusively as possible. When I got back to the back, I noticed that I had headed right to the same place Taisha was. And Carol had followed me back there.

Nyei was starting to explain the movement called Pecking for a New Position of the Assemblage Point. I had learned the movement at the earlier session, but Carol came and grabbed my hand and started showing me how to hold it. I had a lot of trouble getting my hand to move because it was very cold, and Carol was wrestling with it. I didn't want to tell her I knew it, because the way I was fumbling it looked like I didn't. She noticed that my hands were very cold, and started chastising me for sitting out there without proper clothing. I managed to stammer that it wasn't intentional, and about that time Nyei and Reni started drilling this Pecking Pass over and over.

So there I was, WOW, with Taisha to the left and Carol to the right... and after being let in as a special favor, I felt motivated to do the passes with extra effort! We did that "Pecking Pass" over and over at least 5 or 6 times then (Reni was really drilling it), and within 10 minutes of doing them at maximum, I was soaked with sweat. Freezing to roasting in about 10 minutes...

When it was over, I felt like thanking Carol, and when I did she asked me to tell her my name. Then Carlos motioned us to the front, yet before she broke away Carol managed to chastise me again, telling me I should wear a sweater or a jacket if I was going to go outside after sweating like that. Geez, she was practically acting like my mother :-). I brought a jacket to every session after that, but she just must not have realized...that's the way this idiot does things here in California...

Carol was totally charming, yet also managed to give me the impression that she was definitely not someone to mess around with.

Then Carlos got back up on stage and lectured for 30 minutes, going 25 minutes over the scheduled time for the session. What a bonus!

- David

To: alt.dreams.castaneda
Date: Fri, 4 Aug 1995 23:57:22 UTC

Thursday, August 4th, 1995 was the first day of the Group B intensive Tensegrity seminar in Lost Angeles. Check-in was at six pm. As I walked up to the registration tables it occurred to me that, after so many years of reading his work, meeting Castaneda was like meeting the goddamn pope. I was very nervous and my palms were sweating. Looking back I realize it did not even occur to me that Castaneda would NOT be there for opening ceremonies. At 7 pm, a small group of people entered the cafeteria through one of the side doors, just like a rock and roll band. One minute there were 100 people sitting around examining the lint in their navels, the next minute an incredibly frail old man had taken the stage and was encouraging us to "Come closer! Come closer!"

I've been reading Castaneda's books for over 20 years. The Castaneda in the  books is always virile and strong. I had forgotten that he would be in  his late fifties by now. The old man on stage looked like he weighed about  110 pounds on a good day. He wore blue jeans and a dark blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up to mid-forearm. His hair was dark grey and his face  was weathered. His hands were an old mans hands, with prominent veins and tendons. His movements were vigorous, but no more so than many of the  sixty year olds who work out in the gym I go to, some of whom could use  Castaneda as a speed bag. He spoke with a distinct accent but was fairly  easy to understand. He looked no different than any one of the infinite  number of old Mexican guys hanging around whose job it is to cut every  blade of grass in California.

Castaneda is so skinny that his ass has completely disappeared. If you tried to grab Castaneda's ass, your hand would end up in the front pocket of his blue jeans. Castaneda is so skinny that, just like those Chinese college students, the smallest belt goes one and a half times around his waist and the free end of the belt hangs down like a tongue.

Castaneda got up on stage at about 7:05 pm and spoke for the better part of an hour and a half without scarcely pausing for breath. He briefly  sketched his studies with Don Juan, and then launched into his 'poor baby me' routine and talked about the flyers (Voladores). He brought the other  members of his party and then the Chacmools up on stage and introduced  them. Castaneda spoke very well, very convincingly, but it also occurred to me that he has given this talk many, many times before -- enough to  get good at it. Because I was familiar with his ideas I was biased in his  favor, but I could not help wondering how someone with no familiarity with his work would have reacted to his presentation. A skinny old man  spouting smooth cliches with a group of bizzarre looking women behind him.

Castaneda clowned on stage, laughing at his own material and generally hamming it up. There were two or three brief moments, in his 90 minute  talk, when he was genuinely funny. But his audience did not feel the need to wait. If Castaneda so much as raised an eyebrow or slapped his thigh, they burst out into loud, forced, artificial laughter and applause. They applauded when Castaneda took the stage, when his partners took the stage, when the Chacmools went up on stage. They applauded when everyone  left the stage, or when there was any pause, no matter how brief, during  the entire evening into which applause could be fit. Wayne Newton never worked a room that easy. I can scarcely recall the last time I saw that kind of sycophantic behavior. It was worse than watching Garrison Keeler  live in downtown St. Paul. It was like a group of students listening to a lecture from an important professor; forcing themselves to laugh at his  tired stories because they're going to need a reference from him in order  to get a job. If Castaneda had taken a shit on stage, ninety-nine volunteers from the audience would have jumped up on stage to eat it, and  they would have had to duke it out with the Chacmools first.

While Castaneda spoke I caught glimpses through the crowd of the people  who had come in with him. I recognized the Chacmools, and there was a skinny blonde chick whom I suspected was Florinda Donner Grau. Toward the end of his speech, Castaneda brought three women up on stage and  introduced them. Someone in the audience asked him to repeat their names. This request needed to be repeated about three or four times before Castaneda understood it. It seemed as though he was somewhat deaf. I was glad someone had asked him to repeat the introductions because I wanted to make sure I knew who these women were.

Florinda Donner Grau was leftmost on the stage behind Castaneda. She was short and had very bright blonde hair so short it was almost a crew cut. I thought she was the only one of the group who would have attracted attention under other circumstances. She had the taut skin of an aging debutante, and bright active eyes. She looked like she might weigh about 75 pounds, assuming she had bus fare in her pockets.

Standing next to Florinda was the famous Carol Tiggs. It was quite a shock to see her in person. She looked nothing like I imagined -- although none of them did. For some strange reason I always pictured Carol Tiggs  as having long brown/blonde hair, an aquiline nose and high cheekbones.  Sorry -- what can I tell you. The real Carol Tiggs has dark, almost black hair, with some grey in it, cut in a short bob. She had chubby cheeks and what looked like mascara enhanced eyelashes. She looked substantially younger than the others. Carol Tiggs looks like a housewife from Long  Island; the kind that has two kids, plays tennis all day, and hasn't had  an orgasm since 1975, which was the last time her husband was able to get the crowbar between her knees and pry her legs apart.

Next to Carol Tiggs was Taisha Abelar. She had light reddish brown hair, also cut short and, perhaps because of her haircut, looked like she had pointed ears, which they say is a sign of imbecility, although maybe she's a Vulcan. Who knows. She was utterly unremarkable and slightly demented looking. She looked like one of those vague, frail clerks you see in health food stores who babble softly about the benefits of tofu but who look as though they would be knocked over by a stiff breeze. She looks like she would have a lot of cats and might speak angrily to them as she put out innumerable bowls of food and milk.

The Chacmools were brought up on stage next. They were wearing makeup, tasteful jewelry, and similar, although not identical, tailored outfits. They looked like three normal, attractive young women who might work downtown in a gallery or shop. Kylie Lundahl and Reni Murez looked better than they did on video. Nyei Murez looked worse. She looked slightly chubbier than she did on the video and had a slightly dufus look to her. She looked as if she'd recently been hit in the head and hadn't quite  recovered yet. She was charming when she spoke.

After Castaneda finished his speech and his introductions, he and the  three Carlos Castaneda backup singers left the stage, and the room, as  quickly as they had entered. The Chacmools took over and, although it was  already almost 8:45 pm, started to take us through some introductory  movements.

Unlike the rather severe video, where the Chacmools appear with no makeup, no smiles, and no monkey business, all three of the Chacmools  were charming and kind. This difference was especially noticable with  Kylie Lundahl who, on the video, always looked to me like a lesbian biker chick. The Chacmools smiled a lot and were kind and encouraging as they  led us through the movements. It was a lot like being in a dojo, except that they were warmer and more friendly than most martial arts instructors.

They began by exhorting us, at least during the three weeks of the seminar, to reduce our intake of sugar, salt, and fruit, and to drink lots of water. They said something about avoiding starches when they occur with sugars, but I was a little vague on that part. Someone asked why it was necessary for us to reduce the amount of fruit that we ate, but I don't believe a coherent reason was given. In fact, I don't remember a coherent reason given for any of the dietary changes. Then the Chacmools introduced us to two passes. The first was called "The Butterfly" and the second was called "Moving the left side into the right side and the right side into the left side" or words to that effect. I assume others will descibe these passes in detail.

In addition to practicing the passes, the Chacmools also told us us to practice walking around in a slightly pigeon-toed fashion, and to be aware of the feeling that such a gait made in our legs and thighs. We all milled around the cafeteria like a bunch of pigeons and I did notice that my walk was a little springier. I felt like I might be able to jump or turn in any direction a little bit faster, the way they are always trying to get you to do in martial arts classes. But I really wondered whether asking us to walk around slighty pigeon-toed for the next three weeks was just a mechanism for trapping our attention with an unfamiliar behavior, the way that Don Juan used to make Castaneda walk in the desert with his fingers bent in unfamiliar positions.

Desnate

3

To: The Ixtlan Mailing List
Date: Thu, 24 Aug 95 17:05 EDT

Los Angeles Intensive Tensegrity Workshop, August 20, 1995

Combined Groups - Sunday Afternoon Lecture - Carlos Castaneda

[Carlos entered about 10 minutes late, dressed in his "favorite suit". As usual the front row was filled with members of the party, including the two "alleged" scouts. It was never confirmed by the Chac Mools that these beings were in fact the scouts.]

Today is our last day. Can you hear me? [Adjusts his wireless mike.] So we are down to the end of our three week road. Lots of people are unhappy because we didn't answer your needs personally. This was impossible. I told you at the beginning that I'd say disturbing things. You need to suspend judgement. It's an agreement between your energy body and the "it" that's going to take it. We can't be investors, can't think about "me". Don't give me this fucking crap about ego! You question what ego does. No, you haven't come away with nothing. You've been tapped at a very weird level, believe me. You'll remember what I've said; I've bypassed my mind, therefore bypassing yours. It's a sorcerer's maneuver. We don't practice this in the everyday world due to "me".

Don't feel cheated. Don't ask accusations. Like, "Where'd you put those scissors?!", or, "Can't you see I LOVE you?!!" [Asked angrily/accusitorily.] I was in the office of a lawyer (also Groucho Marx' lawyer, at the time). He was an exquisite guy. A young woman was there who wanted to take her account away [Stop doing business with him.] "Don't you love me?", he asked. "Of course I do dammit!!", she replied, angrily. But that's what we do. In the question is the complaint.

Most questions I've gotten have to with lust or sensuality. "What do I do with my lust?" I'd say to don Juan, in this tone of voice, [weak, whining, kind of like Peter Lorre], "don Juan, what do I do, I can't live without having a woman every day." don Juan would always reply, "Well, if the tone of your voice is any indication of the level of your lust, you've got nothing to worry about..." [laughs]. If we were really that lusty, we'd have 3 wives. "Is it right to look at someone's butt?" It's the mind, it's all mental. If you'd quiet yourself, you wouldn't be like this.

Some mention my "complaining" about certain things. I describe a phenomenological process, I don't complain. One complaining guy asked me what the difference between his complaining and my own was. I'm describing a process. I asked him how he felt. "Awful!", he said. But I feel fine... Just like to my lawyer, whom I had to concoct stories about how my life is shit. Boy did he love me!.

My right eye...can't see very well. Something takes me everyday [into my left side - the place of 360 degree vision, where I spin wildly, affecting the eyes]. How do I feel? People ask me how I feed my body when I'm away for a long time. You take it with you! Shoes and all. They ask me, "Well, why do you have to go?" But the more I try to put things to explanations, the worse I feel, like everyone else.

Don Juan was abstract. We are exploding, we are the last link. Yes, we have all had long apprenticeships. But this is not the case anymore. We can't hold your hand. We give you the best of the explosion. We must have fluidity to face something new. At a spur of the moment (one woman called it "spurd moment", so I sometimes borrow that), so, at the "spurd moment" we must enter it, and quickly establish the inherent order. That's the agility I wanted to describe. It sounds stupid, but let your energy body digest it.

I am a social scientist by definition, and choice. I wanted to write ethnobotony papers, so I looked for an indian. One anthropologist was like an usher. The reason that don Juan looked at me is that Bill, who'd introduced us, was going to die of a heart attack. One year later he died. (don Juan saw something in him that showed him he was going to die; when asked, he told me that once I learned to "see", I'd be able to do this too, but I still can't. I don't know what don Juan did.)

So, I was introduced to don Juan by death itself. This was an important omen to don Juan, meaning the death of the lineage after myself. So, don Juan HAD to pay attention to me. Since sorcerers function only in the terms "it" dictates, he had to give me all the aid he could. He deviated the direction of my interest. I was student of ethno_____(?), a subset of ethnomethodology, and phenomenology. Alfred Shultz(?), author in this feild, which takes the world of everyday life as a serious topic of philosophical discourse. In his terms we are all stupendous sociologists of our own daily culture, so why not treat us as the experts which the sociologist can ask. [Not sure I got this last sentence correct.]

There was a statistician in 1883. He measured the amount of horseshit left by carriages in Manhatten, and concluded that by 1923, all of Manhatten would be covered 2 1/2" thick of it. Of course, horseless carriages were invented, so his projection was thrown out the window.

We are doing away with the rainforests... but we haven't taken into account the virus which will take us into extinction. I knew a woman activist who took out a 2 page add in the NY Times(?) blaming George Bush, etc, for deforestation. She herself has 5 kids, but...that's not bad. That's the flaw. She asked me to contribute. No! She's caught up in repeating a slogan. It sounds good, but has little meaning. The population keeps increasing. How do we solve this problem, by protesting? Where will we get our toilet paper? There are different levels of sophistication in how we argue and explain things, I told her. Most just go on repeating "slogans", mindlessly. This is not thought, it's just rhetoric. But it sounds good at first...

So, I've digressed again... [Laughs a bit with front row, who seemed to be signaling him when he digressed too much]. So, I go to a tailor, and learn to look like an ethnomethodologist. Learned to say one word, and chew on lip like this [demonstrates, look of serious thinker, audience laughs]. I encountered, and was greeted by this man - the opitomy of everything I didn't want to find, but the ultimate experience for me. I was well prepared to take him seriously once I passed my barriers...ego. I was prepared to take him dead seriously, but he had to work on me. My resistance was like yours. We purport to be adventurers, but we freeze at any real newness.

I asked don Juan obscene questions, just like you. I complained, "I drove 1500 miles to come see you, and you tell me nothing, except to make fun of everything sacred." He was just pointing out the flaws. But, he loved to laugh, so he was aggressive in pointing them out... He'd whack me - one blow and I "moved".

Then, he presented an extraordinary way of relating to the universe, infinitely more inclusive than that of my grandfather. All he did was to teach me to be an egomaniac, to live a useless life and to die a useless death.

Cancel it! Kick yourself! They "bang" you in to this state, so "bang" yourself out. They made you like that! Don Juan gives me a format, the "Warrior's Way". It defines what sorcery is. No incantations... I refrain speaking of the Catholic Church, but that's easier than speaking of the American Indians - a very touchy subject these days. But they deforested plains, and burned U.S. land. There's nothing sacred, nothing spiritual. Ritual. We fall prey to all those things. Something is dictating our beliefs.

Why the anguish? They are merely placebos which keeps us in line, and prevents us from examining. We see the flaw in someone else, not in ourselves. I've seen Mexican Americans collect $3000 in parking tickets. Professionals. But what's the definition of the problem?

One of the most difficult things in the world is to get Argentineans to see the truth. Why? They are the best in explanations. The joke is that there's one psychoanalyst for every Argentinean [laughs]. I had a friend, whom I tried to help. But there's a limit to what one can do without your cooperation. [gives strange look, stands back, starts laughing, again, with the front row]. Now I really lost the thread!

The first law of sorcery. The ego...causes "stiffness". Then comes the explanation. We are capable of seeing energy as it flows, therefore to see humans as a conglomerate of energy fields, held by a mysterious cohesive force, the result of which is the luminous egg. We describe the phenomena of "aperceiving" energy as "seeing", although it's not ruled by the eyes, but rather every bit of your awareness. Since we are predominantly visual in our perceptions of the daily world, hearing is minimal, and smell and taste don't exist, everything is funneled to visual expression. So, for the purposes of explanation, we say it's, "visual, and then some".

Sorcerers have been doing this for thousands of years. It's the only way to see a human. We can't see us as an aura, or as a "cerulean light", those are just explanations/interpretations. There is only one way to walk, bipedally. But, how long does it take us to learn? Years. So it takes years to gain...or regain actually, the capacity to see energy as it flows, without interpretation. The moment we interpret, we have the world of everyday life. We gloss agglutination of detail into single units of endless glosses. It took us forever to learn to agglutinate "room". Within "room" we can take a "wall", etc, as smaller and smaller units of glosses, ad infinitum. This is the way we've learned to interpret sensory data as perceptual solicitation and come up with the world of everyday life.

For sorcerers, the world of everyday life has no meaning, except as an agreement we were forced to adopt. Look what we do to autistic children, who can't make "room", who can't gloss. We put them into institutions, drug them, shock them, etc.

I almost became a lay-analyst. But it was too overwhelming. Just think - I could now be analyzing your sexual dreams! I'd be "Dr. Katz". [laughs] Now I've REALLY lost the thread. Where WAS I?! [laughs]

We construct glosses of meaning, perception, and intentionality. We intend a room before it becomes a room. Autistics can't fix their assemblage point long enough to matter. I made an autistic talk once. But my professor flunked me, as I didn't follow methodology. We can lend them the position of our assemblage points. But we can't do it with "processes". We do it with a "channel of affection". The child hooks and rides on your assemblage point position.

What is the assemblage point? The assemblage point is a point of intense luminosity, visible without eyes. We "sense" it or "see" (underlined) it in the luminous egg. The egg is the size of me, extended an arms length in all directions. The art of sorcerers is to tap you from below and make you float, as we are encrusted in the matrix of the earth. Duty is affection, exquisite, for sorcerers. It has nothing to do with the ego. It comes from the abstract, unknown, eternal. Irrefutable. They tap, you float as an energetic bubble.

The assemblage point is there [holds arm out, pointing to spot between shoulder blades, at arms length back, directly behind the body], Perception is "assembled", hence the name assemblage point. It's not a "theory". It's a conclusion made by sorcerers based on observation. Billions of energy fields at large converge and go through the assemblage point, producing the world by indescribable means. This position produces the world of everyday life [indicates same position, between shoulers]. But out "there" [points to another spot], there are other sets of energy fields/filaments, coming from every conceivable direction. When the assemblage point moves, and the filaments converge there, we have a different world completely. It's still within the luminous egg, or the realm of man. These worlds can be obscure and bizarre, but they are still a part of us.

I read LaBarre(?), Schlotke(?), experts on peyote. Big texts, thick books. Three of them I read, then I was an "expert" [laughs]. I told don Juan, I can be very convenient to you, due to my knowledge of peyote. Don Juan didn't read, he saw direct, no mind processing. Don Juan said that the luminous egg is the epicenter or core of the sorcerer's tradition. Sorcery is not [performs funny indian chant/dance, "hiya hiya hiya hiya"... laughs]. People hate me for doing that! But I'm not making fun, that's not the answer. When we face our death, we will not be alone, dying of cancer. There are horrible things in store for us. It's a choice. It's our choice not to be offended. You get out what you put in. What sorcerers get is a moment of despair. Don Juan gave me hallucinogens to get me to this despair. If we are not desperate, we don't get enough--we are cheated. Why would we try, if we are happy in our daily lives? So far, I've been incapable of creating this sense of desperation in others. You either have it or you don't. How do I disentangle people's love of ego/daily life?

I like to give you all the treatment of a final being. Like the 10-year old girl. I can't conceive that she doesn't know what she's doing. She does, even if it's at a different level. I respect that. Sorcery is the art of cancelling the system of interpretation which renders the world as we see it. Cancel it, and energy flows to you. The sorcerer cancels long enough to see this. It's what makes us sorcerers.

What's a shaman? He contacts his spirits, drinking Coke with his tobacco...

This cancellation takes immense effort and despair. If daily life is OK, then why would you bother? We get complacent. It's impossible for me to break the "line of complacency". But not for you. Don Juan said to me, "You have to do something extremely nihilistic, or else you'd just put it in your bag of notes, and become a professor, dazzling your students with all your research. He said, "You have to leave your friends; they know you so well, you've never been alone in your life. Go rent a room by yourself, and stay there until you die". I asked him, "What is your criteria for being 'dead'?" He said when being in company, or being alone doesn't mean anything to you. Think of it as only "temporary", he said. "Then you won't fret. Think '50 years temporary'".

So, that day, I got rid of them. I was happy, but when I got to highway 365, it hit me. What will I do? Go back to what I know...routines. It took me three months to come to understanding/peace. Don Juan had succeeded in creating a sense of despair. I was morbid, not desperate. I had the despair needed to jump over the fence.

People ask if they need to move to L.A. to become part of the group. We are not a group. We are navigators. We are each responsible for our navigation schedule, and chart. These groups get us together, but we are not "friends". I think that we like each other, but I am not so nice - my "Latin" comes out, at least when I'm not in my suit. We follow the line of duty. It turns into the most static affection, but not that of the "investor". We don't work together doing exercises of sorcery - sitting every night, naked! Dreaming with a different...dreamer...every night! [laughs] We don't do that.

The explosion I offer you is an expression of the "last link", a world to be discovered. No more tradition. This world is defined as it develops. It's becoming more and more aligned.

I see energy, but I don't know why, so it balances me. So what? The advantage is knowing how to navigate, how to disentangle ideality for a moment. To use it elsewhere again.

The discovery of the assemblage point is what made the ancient sorcerers powerful. But for generations they went bananas figuring where to place it and how to fix it there. Thus emerged the arts of dreaming and stalking. Dreaming is the art of using the natural process of sleep to displace the assemblage point to new locations, and stalking is the art of affixing the assemblage point in the new position in order to assemble bona fide, new, all inclusive worlds. They became so versed in fixing the position of the assemblage point that they ended up in the new positions, staying there, never coming back. It's like skins of an onion. There are billions of possible positions, but not all of these give us all inclusive worlds. Don Juan figured that about 600 of the positions were worlds, the rest were phantoms, they were "too fast", and didn't have enough "meat" for us to hold on to. Not that don Juan ever got to them, but the sorcerers of antiquity did.

Even if I only enter the 6000 skins of the onion, it's infinitely better than dying of cancer. Give it to me...

We get to a certain age, and there are no more mysteries. This is not new. This is not a platitude. I'm not like the guru I told you about, that I met that that, who was massaging the young man's balls... When I asked her what she sees in the mirror when she's alone at night, her response was, "the great secret is...not to be alone!". How absurd.

But "what do I do with my lust?" If you are worrying about it, you don't have it. With that energy? It's a lie. Come to grips with what you are. Without our mother's having a huge orgasm when we were conceived, we are all "bored fucks". So, go ask your mommy. Lust is diminished with liquor or pot. They are not the ingredients for any kind of physicality. Doing that is fulfilling their bidding [flyers], not our bidding.

The first art, Dreaming, is the art of using dreams as bona fide gates of perception. It's the condition of harnessing "dreaming attention", or art of fixing the attention in dreams on different objects in our dreams, systematically. It's a disciplined way of reminding that you must look at objects. Just a glance, staying on objects as long as possible until it starts to dissolve, then you switch, and repeat, until there is no more attention left, and you fall asleep.

Something in us records our effort; we get better until we focus attention on anything we want - 100 objects... Dreams follow the natural movement of the assemblage point. It moves a great deal, or only slightly. When the assemblage point moves to "phantom" positions, we experience a regular dream. One day your assemblage point will be in a key position. By then you've harnessed your dreaming attention, and can focus on as many objects as you want. The energy body knows the threshold - how many objects you need to switch between. Suppose mine is 16 objects. I focus on 16, afterwhich I am in a different world, providing my assemblage point moved to one of the 6000 positions. Don't despair. One day it will move to one of these "meaty" positions. At that point you'll know your threshold. You'll hear, "16 objects".

There are two choices; one is to explore the human unknown, the positions within the luminous eggs. The other is the unknowable, which can only be known partially. This is the realm of the new seers.

The 2nd art, is the art of fixing the assemblage point at the new position. You've fixed at phantoms enough to have weird dreams. But by the time you get to the meat, you've become versed enough to know how to fix your assemblage point there. Then, off you go. The danger is in getting trapped. You move bodily, permanently. The old seers couldn't get back. But when travelling outside the egg, the abstract doesn't want you. "You" do. It's human indulgence which pulls and traps us at points within the human unknown. The sorcerers of antiquity, although lost, are "in heaven". Best of possible worlds. But, not for don Juan's mentality. Don Juan's purpose was total freedom. Freedom is defined as the capacity to let awareness grow to full length.

The sorcerers of antiquity were still subjected to the flyers' devouring. [Makes a motion showing they had risen to about chest level, but were not complete] When you grow fully, it turns to fire; exquisite. Impossible to conceive. What did don Juan do? No possible idea. He was enhanced a million-fold. This is why it's called, "the great adventure".

Dreaming and Stalking. Nothing to do with playing tricks. It has to do with YOU. There's no way to teach, just point. You do work, no exercises. You'll be guided by the "explosion" of the last link. THAT'S the proposition.

So, if we can perceive energy, then possibilities are...I can't even say that. Each filament is eternal, extending into infinity. We can't sustain that view for more than several seconds, then we are back to interpreting. But this pause allows us to change.

I am not a believer/follower/teacher/guru. I have come here everyday to talk to you. It is my duty. My duty to explain. But to do this without gain. There's nothing you can do for me. Don Juan was the first being I've ever met, who needed absolutely nothing from me. That's the beauty.

People come here trying to debunk me. They are compelled. How tragic...

Six thousand skins of the onion is one side of the fence. The other side is the world of the beings which are possessors of awareness, but not organism; the inorganic being's world. These are twin forces that make up a whole; a holistic unit. We have not been reared to notice the inorganic being side. If we do, there is more energy available to us, just like the demonstration I showed you, where one push moves the energy to different sides. Where's the guy I did this to? [guy raises hand, he scans audience for a second, until he sees him] THERE! You felt weak, then strong, right? [The man answers, "Yes, I did - not only that, you half-cured my cold!"] I may have pushed more energy back than you had...

We are in a constant fight to agglutinate our energy to the center, to our adrenals, where it is most useful, but something is constantly fighting to diffuse it to the periphery. Sorcerers have said to avoid an overemphasis in the inorganic beings. So why do I believe the opposite? I am forced to conclude the fact that we are drawn to indulge is accident, or decision of flyers. It's not possible to avoid parts of the universe that is indispensable. That's denial. To deny is to injure. Something keeps me from making this contact. If I did, I wouldn't be so weak.

Looking at the body, sorcerers see a counterpart/twin. Where is this counterpart? For some it is close, but others don't have it. Why? If this is truly a twin universe, why is this counterpart in Japan? Something has connived to push it away.

The more disciplined you are, the closer your energy body is to you. The contact is via your assemblage point. The "dreaming body", or energy body (they mean the same, but I like to call it energy body; dreaming body assumes we make it in dreaming, while energy body is more abstract) has an assemblage point, too. Via dreaming, one can get close to the energy body, but not via lucid dreaming. The energy body gets closer by practicing dreaming, or exercising your dreaming attention. Twin universes are not excluded. We are holders of dualisms. Body and mind is not a dualism to sorcerers. The body and the energy body is a dualism.

It's important to bring an entity to bear witness on everything you do. This entity is your death. It reduces pettiness. We shy away from this. To use the totality of our possibilities we need to define the problem. So, unless we incorporate the twin universe, we are merely limping, not walking. This doesn't mean that tonight the inorganic beings will grab you in your gonads.... [laughs] "What to do? You told me they were feminine..."

Some of you are going to navigate...there is beautiful energy here. Some won't be satisfied with any of this. There is nothing that I, or anything outside of you can do to help.

That's why we are giving "diplomas". The Chac Mools think these will be valuable someday, so they even numbered them! So, when you send me questions, send me your code, 1 in 178 for example, I know who you are. I'd love to include everybody, but it depends on absurd lines -- choice. So why not make our choice freedom?

Don Juan's theories are not theories. They are conclusions, final to them. We like to include mankind in the totality, so I guess you could say we are "Catholic" in this regard.

Our perceptions are limited by culture, and history. Don Juan said there's infinitely more. But, you have to do it yourself. Don Juan gave me pointers. He said, "Don't take my word, DO IT!" Use this seminar as a beginning. If you are desperate, the desperation will find an opening. Don Juan said, "don't believe, just do it!" Do the passes, adjust as much as you can, remember them kinesthetically. Then, whatever premises I've spread directly to your energy body will come to the surface. Then, we'll do more, much more.

[At his point he paused, at which point one person from the audience asked him about the Death Defier, the proposed topic of this lecture]

As part of don Juan's lore, the "Death Defier" was...is...there was one person who appeared in 1725, who went to see the nagual Sebastian, who was a sexton for a church in Tula. The nagual could work in the church and was safe there. He took care of bells, and other property at the church. One day an old indian came to him and said, "I need your energy, or else I will denounce you as a practitioner of the black arts..." Of course with this, Sebastian was compelled to listen.

The indian wanted energy from only the nagual. We all have an umbilical, the belly button. We all die from here, it's a deadly place, a hole in the energy body from which life force escapes upon death. A nagual has twice the energy of a normal man, so the indian said that to give a minimal amount would do him no harm.

This indian was actually a sorcerer from 7000 years ago, he lives today by placing his assemblage point on different points, getting a "mortgage" on life. He moves his assemblage point to a key position, which gives him an insect-like quality. He then draws energy from the belly-button of the nagual, and has a "sac" into which he pulls this energy. His assemblage point then returns to the habitual position, then he's like everyone else.

He didn't need energy until 1725. Then, he became fixed to the lineage. He gave in exchange for the nagual's energy, gifts of positions of the assemblage point. Knowledge about how to attain these new positions, and what to expect. Sebastion was extraordinary. He received 8 new positions from this "death defier". Lujan got 52 positions! But this was not for don Juan, he was not interested in the death defier's gifts, nor was I. But he tapped me, he couldn't help it. Munched me to death, don Juan said.

I was willing to half-believe what don Juan was saying about the existance of the death defier. Corn was found in Mexico which was carbon-14 dated to 34,000 years ago. The first migration into Mexico suposedly happened only 10,000 years ago, and were simple hunter/gatherers. But don Juan said this was not true. He said, "we both have ways of measuring time; you measure, while I...ask."

One day don Juan said he'd take me to see the death defier. No problem, it's all horshshit, I thought. So he took me. Scared the living daylights out of me. I met this Indian with the weirdest accent. The accent was on all the wrong syllables. If a word had the accent on the first syllable, he'd put it on the second. But he did it so consistently as to convince me it was genuine.

The man was thin, wiry. He drove me nuts talking like that. He told me, "My eyes have feasted themselves on the helmets of the Spanish conquerors. I saw them, how they moved. I felt their discomfort, and felt how they had to sleep with their helmets and armor on, I felt their pain. I've seen incredible things. What do you want?"

"Nothing!", I replied.

"But we have an agreement. With you, it will be difficult, for you are the last..." Of course, he somehow knew I was to be the last nagual in this line, yet I myself didn't know it at the time. We met in a town in Mexico, it was a Saturday. I ate cheese with him, seemed very normal. We took a walk. The next thing I knew I was waiting for don Juan to pick me up, and I'd had no idea what had transpired. I left with a sensation, tremendously old, musty, kind, foreign, unthreatening. This weird nostalgia. It's been as if I'd been involved in a fight that had no end. This is the first time I truly realized that there were things with no end...

I woke up in a peculiar town. There was a paved road, which sloped high in the middle, a "1st gear" road. The first thing you see walking up this hill is the hats of the mexicans on the other side. It was a peculiar sensation, a "cinematic" one for me. So, I was watching that... (By the way, don Juan found this town to be the epicenter of "energetic convolutions".) I was waiting for don Juan with this sensation of nostalgia, but not for my life or past, it was foreign. So old, sad, yet charming, haunting. It's never left me, I'm always playing with that sensation, the neverending fight, with no possibility of looking for a lull. don Juan said it was poison that the death defier left me. It was like being prone, being ready, as if something is coming. A foreign feeling.

The next time I found the death defier, was at nearly the end of don Juan's life. A small church in Tula - met a gorgeous woman. I had much fear at the prospect, don Juan had to literally drag me to the church. There were two women nearby, with 3 men coming out from the church. The 3 men went down the stairs, and the two women went inside. "Where is he", I wondered to don Juan, "the men left."

don Juan responded, "Who told you that the death defier is a man?" He pointed to the woman in the last pew. don Juan emplored me to "cross" myself, to observe the customs, and not to make a spectacle. The woman turned and smiled. At this point I ran out of the church, falling prey to a bout of asthma. I'd had asthma when I was a child...

don Juan asked me, "why this fear?"

My family name is Carlos Arana (pronounced "Arania"), and in portugese, Arana means "spider". don Juan asked, "What's wrong, Mr. Spider?" The more I walked away, the more tachycardia (irregular heartbeat condition) acted up. Then I got insane and simply said to don Juan, "OK, lets go", and went back to the church and sat next to the woman.

She had a raspy voice, as she greeted me and held my hand, "I like your energy...muy bien." She took me to dreams upon dreams - 9 days I was lost, although I thought it was one. don Juan told me that I'd came to agreements that I'd not be aware of until I was "fully grown".

The death defier is as real as me or don Juan. Different, but bizarre possibility which is available to us all, not that we'll take it. The human unknown is as far away as anything, but it's still within our realm of possibilities. Wow! Who are we?!

Are we just some travellers caught in some disgusting trap? Maybe. For me, I saw the death defier and don Juan as navigators. I navigate, therefore who are we? Why accept what's been handed down--nagging, senile, discontent, repetitive, with endless regrets--no desicions whatsoever.

"I decided to come to this seminar--if it's chicken-shit, then so be it." That's the sorcerer's way. "Oh, I didn't get personal treatment..." People come, at the first twist, they tell us to go "blow our barracks". We've got to get rid of the ego, I say, but then it's, "Fuck you". We've got to be as sharp as a razor, go slowly at first, then you can jump. Don't give me this, "I volunteer for your group, take me, take me, I'll do whatever you want..." Stop being an egomaniac, I say. "Oh, I'm so disappointed, Carlos...no peyote in the desert?"

Last night I invited for you to read up on your "heritage" (writings of the Bible, Jesus, Mohammed, etc), and look for the "me, me me". It's a man talking for God. It can't be personalized. The minute it is, we inject "me" into it. What is heaven? Humanness for eternity? We don't want it! What is the Pace of heaven? I'm in a toga, walking like this [walks torturously slow for several steps]...

Then comes the death defier. An outstanding male of his time. The inorganic beings are also blasted by flyers. There's nothing they'd like to do more than to unite with us. But the only ones brave enough are the sorcerers, as beings wanting to enhance their wareness. You profess to be who you are in their realm, and they grab you! How else would they do it, as they have no way of making themselves known. We are being systematically separated [from the inorganic beings] by the flyers.

don Juan said that the inorganic beings were dangerous. The death defier got grabbed by the inorganic beings, but he accepted the bidding. He spent thousands of years in that world. One day this ultimate freedom fighter discovered the way to escape. Turn into a woman! This is simple for a sorcerer. A woman has her assemblage point with its "shiny" side facing inward, while a man's assemblage point has its shiny side facing out. All one needs to do is to turn the assemblage point around, and your whole body turns into something else. It's not merely an illusion. As a woman the inorganic beings didn't know he existed, and he simply slipped by without notice. In making a deal with the inorganic beings, he lost his possibilities. But now hes' caput. I'm the last of the line, so what will the death defier do? He'll go with me, I'm his last chance. It gives me the goose bumps. Infinitely more exciting...

So, this death defier has escaped twice! First death itself, then the inorganic being world. I get emotional. What beauty/elegance. He chose not to be human, but is still a being who's going to die. He knows only fighting, it's a story, but NOT a story. He's everyone of us, but enhanced by his thirst for freedom. I don't think the death defier truly knows what freedom is, but so what? He goes to something not defined.

That's why I try to sneak out of it [talking about the death defier]. I would weep like an imbucile. Don't you dare believe that I wouldn't...

I had a chance to do this with my father, an awful man. He hunted with my grandfather, he had all these whistles, bird calls, that he hung around his shoulder. One time he shot a duck, and he later made me go cut it down from a eucalyptus tree. But by then it was old, and had lice all over it. I hated my father. At one point, don Juan told me that I had to go see him. I went. I was greated at door, but didn't speak the language. "Piloto Arana". He answered the door. He was older, elegant. "I came to see you", I said. He was civilized, exqusite. "Would you like some tea, coffee? Now you tell me who you are, and where we've met...", he said cordially.

"OK, but once I tell you who I am, I won't have to tell you were we met..." [chuckles] "I'm Carlos, your sone, and I've come here to bury the hatchet, lest I despise you all my life."

"You've been involved in a unilateral fight. You've fought, I've forgot", he said. He invited me in, but made me agree to keep my true identity secret.. I truly liked the man. He was a great reader. He even had Carlos Castaneda's books as part of his collection. An exquisite man, kind, diplomatic. But his cognitive system "knew" the reason I'd come, it had to be to ask for money. I grabbed him by the arms to express my most profound affection for the man. His daughter came in, and saw this, and must've been surprised, no man had touched her father like this. I then looked into his daughters eye's and said, "I wish I could have had a father like you, growing up..." [By now Carlos, and half the audience was nearly in tears, it was a very emotional story]

But...stop it there. Freeze the moment, and you'll have the moment forever. As beings who are going to die. Goodbye, kisses to you all. [Standing ovation, as the party joins him, quickly departed through exit on the left side of the auditorium.]

Carl Johnson

To: alt.dreams.castaneda
Date: 3 Sep 1995 03:29:37 -0400

My Three Weeks With Carlos Castaneda

Keeping in step with the current energy of open communications I have decided to give a personal account of my experiences at the August LA Tensegrity seminar. Unfortunately I do not possess the writing skills necessary to really capture the magic that I felt being in the presence of Carlos Castaneda. It was a real pleasure to be able to spend three weeks with the man whose writings have so profoundly affected my life. Enjoy!

When I first received a notice about the LA Tensegrity workshop I felt that something very special was happening. I had not attended any of the other Tensegrity workshops and felt that this was the one for me to attend. My intent was to go there to learn some new tools to help on my path not to meet a bunch of celebrities. I was however intrigued with the possibility of meeting Carlos Castaneda for energetic reasons. At the time there was planned to be three different workshops and because of work issues the first workshop was out of the question. When I called to make reservations for the second secession I was disappointed to find out that the last two secessions were canceled. However, I was informed about a commuter section called the B. Group that was going to be held Thursday through Sunday. I hung up the phone thinking that I would be unable to attend this workshop. Once I started considering my options I realized that I could work Monday through Wednesday each week and fly back and fourth to LA. This was an expensive option but I decided to do it anyway.

On the evening of Tuesday, August 1 at about 9:00 PM I turned on my computer and sent out some E-mail. I left my computer on and laid down to do some reading. I read for a while and accidentally fell asleep. The next thing I knew it was 2:00 AM. I got up and decided to read my E-mail and this newsgroup before I turned off my computer. I was pleasantly surprised to read that Carlos had shown up for the first class. I turned off my computer and decided to do the 12 basic Tensegrity passes. At about 3:30 AM I went to bed and immediately fell into a weird dream. I saw Carlos speaking to a group of people and every time he would move his arms with hand gestures people in the audience would convulse and shriek.  Towards the end of the dream Carlos started yelling out strange words that sounded like some ancient Toltec language. People in the audience went crazy every time he said one of those words. I woke up thinking that Carlos was going to be talking directly from his energy body to the participant's energy body at the workshop. I did not think that my dream was necessarily an accurate rendition of what actually happened on that energetic plane.

I arrived in LA in the afternoon of Thursday, August 3 and quickly made my way to Culver High School. I made it through the registration and waited in the empty cafeteria. I had a funny feeling that Carlos and all the women were going to be there. Promptly at 7:00 PM Carlos, Florinda, Taisha, Carol and the Chacmools entered the cafeteria through a side door. Carlos jumps up on the stage as if he was twenty years old and say's "High I am Carlos Castaneda." I already knew that he was a small guy but I had never pictured him as a Seventy year old. He started talking about the first time he had meet Don Juan. He was very animated and often he would say something funny and slap his right thigh while keeling over laughing. I could not help think that he was just like Don Juan.

I was standing on the right side of the stage in a crowd of people. As I listened something strange started to happen to me. I could feel this pressure slowly building up on my body. Then my heart started to pound a little bit. Carlos was talking to the audience while Carol, Taisha and Florinda seemed to be looking over in my area. I am not an amateur to the ways of sorcerers and quickly realized what was happening. A few seconds later my heart was about to beat out of my chest and I began running out of breath. I could feel a bunch of energy welling up on the back side of my cocoon out side of my body. Finally I could not take it any more and I let out a gasp of air. At the same time the energy that was welling up on the back of my cocoon exploded and shot up above my head. Some woman who was standing in front of me turned around and gave me a dirty look. I was doing everything in my power to maintain my cool. Just when I was about to pass out and hit the floor the sorcerers backed off. The test of a lifetime had came and went and I did not pass. Noticing my success with loosening my assemblage point, they were trying to see if I could exist in their world without it tearing me apart. I could not and if they would have pushed anymore I probably would have died. I would have loved to of passed such a test but I have nothing to be ashamed about. They did not pass the first time either but circumstances are a lot different now.  Although I had many opportunities during the three weeks to talk to the sorcerers about what happened to me I chose not to.

Carlos continued to lecture on the ideas behind the magical passes and I acted like nothing had happened. A little bit later he brought all the women in his group up on the stage and introduced them. For me it was a very magical moment and one that I thought that I would have never gotten to see. Carlos finished lecturing and left the cafeteria along with the other sorcerers. The Chacmools finished the night with teaching Tensegrity.

Carlos did not attend the next night's class and that ended up being the only one he would miss for the remainder of the workshop. By Saturdays class it was clear that Carlos had seen something from the spirit to tell him to participate more heavily with the workshop. During Saturdays class he pulled small groups to the side and taught the essence of Tensegrity by reducing it down to very basic movements.

Carlos ended up giving all three of the Sunday lectures as well as giving an hour to hour and a half lecture each day before we learned new magical passes. I did not take any notes but I will try to highlight some of the concepts that he talked about in another post. For this post I want to highlight a few moments that had special meaning to myself.

Carlos warned us that during the next three weeks he was going to say things that might be disturbing to some people. He said that if at the end of the three weeks if anyone wanted to tell him to "go blow his barracks" that it would be fine with him. He laid down the ground rules of no personal questions, no trying to get discovered and no telling him about personal dreams (especially the ones that have him in them).

During the second week of the seminar Carlos kept telling us about a 10 year old girl in his life that has to make a decision concerning life and death. The girl that he was talking about was one that he pointed out during his first lecture as a cyclic being. I assumed that she was the blue scout. I did not really understand what he was talking about until the second Sunday lecture. He explained that for some time now the girl was thinking about leaving his group to go live with her grandparents. I guess that this option was presented to her by Carlos to allow her free will. I imagine that the pressures of being in his group were a lot for a little girl. Her biggest complaint was that they would not allow her to eat tamales whenever she wanted. Sometime during the second week of the seminar he discussed the matter with the girl. Carlos told us that when sorcerers look out at the horizon they see an amber glow with many swirls in it. When a hole opens up in that amber glow it means that what ever issue the seer has pending must come to a final decision. The hole of finality opened up while he was discussing the girl's decision. So Carlos was forced to give the girl an ultimatum. She had to decide to either stay with them and live or go live with her grandparents and die. Carlos was associating death with her decision because for him a normal life is a death sentence. When Carlos was talking about this subject to the audience he became very emotional. The girl made the decision to go live with her grandparents just before the lecture. She said that she wanted to stay with them until the end of the summer then go live with her grandparents. Carlos told her no. She could only stay until the end of the seminar. Carlos told the audience "I can not impinge my will on her. I can not believe that she does not know what she is doing. She is going to her death and for what? Tamales!" Carlos said that she requested them to not remember her as the little girl that was too stupid to make the right decision. Carlos confessed that this situation bugs the hell out of part of him but he is quickly turning it into an empty story just like all his other stories. After Carlos told this story I noticed that some people were visibly shaken. The Spirit had timed this situation perfectly so that all the seminar participants could get a first hand view of finality in the sorcerer's world.

When I was back at my home between the second and third week, I started experiencing this deep sense of disassociation. It was like nothing in my ordinary life mattered any more. I knew that being around Carlos was causing me to feel this way. At the beginning of the third week Carlos told us that something incredible was happening. He was seeing people's energy body returning. Carlos explained that the energy body gets separated from us at birth because it is driven off by the actions of the Fliers. Don Juan always told Carlos that his energy body was in Japan.  It took Don Juan many years to help Carlos bring his energy body in to the point that it was superimposed upon the physical body. Carlos said that who in his lineage would have believed that just in a period of weeks so many people's energy bodies could have returned. He said that the combination of doing the Tensegrity and having his energy body talking directly to our energy bodies caused the reunion. He said that sorcerers teach their students by bypassing the rational mind and talking directly to the energy body. When the energy body unites with the physical body then half the battle is over. Carlos told us that we had become the germination of his lineage. He said that his task was to explode the knowledge of his lineage and it was happening. Carlos said that he was the traveler and as the traveler he is going to extend the same challenge to us that Don Juan hand made to him. That challenge was to meet again out there in the unknown. He had been successful at meeting Don Juan and he is positive that many people in the audience will meet him again. Carlos said, "We will meet again. I am sure of it."

The last hour of Carlos' lecture on the 20th of August was simply incredible. He was intentional trying to invoke a very specific mood in the audience. A mood that sorcerers require of longing and quiet desperation. His description of the death defier was awe inspiring and his story of meeting his father was absolutely riveting. Here is approximately how it went.

Carlos began to talk about the death defier. He reviewed for us how in 1725 the death defier on his last dying moments cornered the nagual Sebastian and extorted energy from him. Carlos then explained in technical terms how the Death Defier takes energy from the Nagual. Carlos recapped his nine day ordeal with the Death Defier that he had written about in The Art of Dreaming. Carlos explained how the Death Defier is just a man, a human just like us, and his struggle to survive is one of human possibilities. Very emotionally, Carlos explained how whenever he talks about the Death Defier he is nearly brought to tears. The Death Defier has been fighting for his life every moment for over 7000 years and he is human. He first escaped death by becoming a sorcerer but he got trapped by the inorganic beings. After thousands of years of being trapped by the inorganic beings he figured away out, thereby escaping death for a second time. Then for thousands of years he survived by manipulating his assemblage point. Then in 1725 he was near death because he had used up all his energy reserves. He then cheated death for a third time by extorting energy from the Naguals in his lineage. Now that Carlos is the last of his line the Death Defier has devised a method beyond comprehension to cheat death for a fourth time. An emotionally moved Carlos explained to us how the Death Defier's story is a part of all of us and it has meaning to our own fight for freedom. How many of us want to live so desperately that we could fight every moment for over 7000 years, grabbing and searching for any little piece of knowledge capable of carrying us onward?

After he finished his discussion about the Death Defier he began to tell us about his real father. Carlos' father and mother were very young when they had him. His mother was around 14 and his father was about 16. For some unexplained reason Carlos was raised by his grandfather. Carlos only saw his father a hand full of times when he was a child. His father would come to the farm with a bunch of guns and screw around with them. According to Carlos his father could not hit anything. Carlos held a lot of resentment towards his father for abandoning him. This resentment was compounded by the fact that Carlos' grandfather taught him to go around trying to get people to feel sorry for him because he was an orphan.  After many years of working with Don Juan, Carlos realized that the only was for him to completely recapitulate his resentment towards his father was to go see him and bury the hatchet. Carlos said that his real last name was Ovalle (I am not quite sure of this). He went to his father's house who had a family of his own by then. Carlos became very quiet and sullen when he began to tell this next part of the story. Carlos went to the front door and knocked. A woman answered the door and Carlos said that he was an old friend of Mr. Ovalle's. Carlos' father came to the door and greeted him. His father very courteously invited him in and they sat down. Carlos was awestruck with how warmly his father had received him. His father told the woman to bring them some tea. His father said "Please you must tell me who you are and where we had met." Carlos said "Well if I tell you who I am then I will not have to tell you where we met." Carlos then told his father that he was his son. Carlos then went on to get to know his father for the first time in his life. All the years that Carlos had hated his father he assumed that his father hated him back. He quickly learned that his resentment of his father was a unilateral one because his father barely remembered him. Carlos said that his father was an exquisite man who was very well read. His father even had Carlos Castaneda books on his bookshelf. He never told his father that he was Carlos Castaneda. His father invited him to stay for dinner and Carlos accepted on the grounds that he did not tell his family that he was his son. Carlos had dinner with them and later on it became time for him to say good bye. At this point Carlos was pouring all the emotion that he could into this story and the audience was completely captivated by him. Carlos hugged his father and held him by the forearms shaking them in great affection while saying good bye.. His father's wife remarked that of all his friends she had never seen any of them treat him so much compassion. She said that they must have been very good friends.  Carlos' father had a little girl and Carlos hugged her to say good bye.  Carlos knelt down and held her by the shoulders and said, "I wish that I would have had a father as nice as the one that you have." Carlos then stopped himself and left. He told the audience that is what sorcerers do. They go just far enough then they stop.

Carlos then held the palms of his hand towards the audience and said "During the last 3 weeks I have given you my best." Then the greatest man that I had ever met in my life turned and walked off the stage and out the door in total silence just like he had entered three weeks ago. The audience continued to applaud for several minutes after he had left. I left there in silence also. I do not think that I could have talked to anyone even if I had to.

During the three weeks Carlos was everything a nagual should be. He gave us lots of practical knowledge. He ruthlessly attacked a lot of the participants cherished beliefs. He refused to tolerate any bull shit questions. He never catered to anyone or sought anybody's approval. He was extremely animated when he was imitating people. He tried to instill a sense of quite desperation in us with his touching stories. He refused to become a guru or to take responsibility for us in any way. He was often funny and very witty. He was always detached and at ease. He sincerely wanted us all to succeed and believed that we could.

Practical Actions
Carlos wanted to really sink in the concept of Practical Actions. The way that we navigate through our daily world is through Practical Actions such as tying our shoes or putting gas in our cars. Each one of these Practical Actions that we do is designed to achieve a desired out come.  Well, the same concept holds true when a person is trying to become aware of realms outside the daily world. That person needs a set of Practical Actions that yield desired out comes in realms that may follow very different rules. The magical passes are a perfect example of Practical Actions that yields results in dreaming.

Meaty Worlds
A person needs to build up dreaming attention before they can really do dreaming. Lucid dreaming is not what sorcerer's call dreaming. To build up dreaming attention a person must begin to isolate objects in their normal dreams and hold them as long as possible. Once a person can hold a threshold number of object they will be automatically whisked away into another world. There are millions of worlds within the reach of man that are Phantom worlds. Phantom worlds are worlds that lack any kind of solid structure. Also with in the reach of man are Meaty worlds that have a solidity equal to our daily worlds. The ancient sorcerers painstakingly mapped out every meaty world that they could assemble. They concluded that there were only about 6000 Meaty worlds within the reach of man.

Prefacing Energy
The goal of a sorcerer is to perceive energy as it flows in the universe.  There were a lot of questions directed at Carlos about Auras, Chakras and spirits. He answered them by saying that sorcerers try to see energy as it flows in the universe. When sorcerers first start to SEE they preface what they SEE with attributes of the physical world. Due to the practices that sorcerers engage in to develop their ability to handle the abstract and they lose their prefaces. Other traditions develop their prefaces and never learn to get rid of them. This topic was discussed because of the picture of the Flyer jumping over the pyramid at Teotihuacan. Carlos took the picture seriously because the image on the photo looks exactly like a Flyer when a sorcerer first starts to SEE them. As the sorcerer develops and loses their prefaces they learn to SEE the Flyers as just energy. I studied the picture of the Flyer intensely for at least a half hour. I even asked Carlos how long did the Flyer materialized wondering if people saw it. Carlos claimed that the photo was one of a series of photos take milliseconds apart and the image appeared on only one frame. The image of the Flyer looked like an opaque side view of a man jumping forward in a belly flop position. The image was so clear that Carlos made fun of how big the Flyer's gut was from feasting on 90,000 people. I have to admit that the picture was pretty convincing. Carlos claimed that the picture was an omen to start talking about the Flyers. The reason that he never discussed them before was that Don Juan told him that the issue was so provocative that it would undermine his efforts to present sorcery to the world.

Here is something tangential to prefacing energy. Carlos said that Carol Tiggs has been bouncing an idea off him for years concerning the socialization of humans. Carol claims that of all the worlds available to sorcerers this one has the highest degree of socialization. She also claims that the socialization of humans is so intense that when sorcerers travel to other worlds it exerts tremendous forces on that world to conform to ours. She claims that the beings of those worlds are forced to take on human characteristics in their presence.

Beings That Are Going To Die
One of the most powerful concepts that a warrior has to fully realize is that he/she is a being that is going to die. This realization has to be translated into an intense sense of desperation. If a sorcerer fails to invoke this sense of desperation inside an apprentice then that sorcerer has accomplished nothing. Carlos said that during his last year with Don Juan, Don Juan became very concerned about the fact that he had not invoked in Carlos the desperation of a being that is going to die. Don Juan decided that the problem was that Carlos socialized with other people too much. He requested that Carlos move into a place far away from everybody he knew and to not make any friends. Carlos did and it took him three months to actualize that sense of desperation. Carlos said that he realized that the only thing that gave his life meaning was Don Juan. He had become addicted to Don Juan's intense sense of meaning and purpose, which he lacked in his own life. The notion of Don Juan leaving him became unbearable. When the time came for Don Juan to leave the world, Carlos was in such despair that he wanted to either leave the world with Don Juan or die. Carlos claimed that when he stood at the edge of that 800 foot precipice with Don Juan's party he didn't even care that he could be jumping to his death.

Finality
Carlos was talking about the 10 year old girl that is in his group. He said for some time now the girl was thinking about leaving his group to go live with her grandparents. I guess that this option was presented to her by Carlos to allow her free will. I imagine that the pressures of being in his group were a lot for a little girl. Sometime during the second week of the seminar he discussed the matter with the girl. Carlos told us that when sorcerers look out at the horizon they see an amber glow with many swirls in it. When a hole opens up in that amber glow it means that what ever issue the seer has pending must come to a final decision. The hole of finality opened up while he was discussing the girl's decision.  So Carlos was forced to give the girl an ultimatum. The girl chose to go live with her grandparents.

Appointments With Infinity
Carlos caught wind of some of the criticism leveled against him for holding the seminar. Carlos said, "There are people out there saying that Carlos Castaneda is exploiting you." He exclaimed, "I am not exploiting you I am bringing you the sorcerer's revolution." He explained that the sorcerer's revolution is real revolution and is not like the revolutions of the past that really only changed who was on top. Carlos went on "I have daily appointments with infinity and I cannot make my appointments with crap hanging on me." "Why would I do anything that would keep me from making my appointments?" Carlos made these statements with such utter conviction and sincerity that I wish his critics could have been there to hear it.

Bored Fucks
Probably the most asked topic at the seminar was concerning sex. Sorcerers do not have any kind of ideology went it comes to sex. If a person is viral enough to have sex without it draining their energy then sex is OK. Carlos said that sorcerers believe that the amount of energy the person's parents expel when they were conceived is critical in determining whether or not they can have sex. Sorcerers perceive that most people are the result of a Bored Fuck. Carlos gave examples of a Bored Fuck as a woman requesting her husband to not mess up her hair during sex or a man telling his wife to not bother waking up during sex.  Once Carlos asked Don Juan if he could be with women or not. Don Juan stated that given the lack of confidence in Carlos' voice when he asked the question, hell no. Don Juan then made fun of Carlos by spitting a small amount of saliva and saying that it represented the most Carlos could ejaculate.

Seeing Animals And Plants
Carlos fielded a lot of questions concerning what sorcerers see when they look at plants and animals. Carlos claimed that the only thing sorcerers can see on plants and animals are a cocoon and an assemblage point They can't even see if their awareness is eaten by the flyers just like humans. Carlos theorized that if enough people on Earth started SEEING there might be enough mass to allow sorcerers to see things that are blocked from them right now. He also said that the assemblage point of plants is located underground near the roots. He claimed that eucalyptus trees have the weirdest assemblage point that he had ever seen. Their assemblage point has spikes coming out of it.

Religions
During one of the question and answer periods someone asked Carlos what he thought about Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha and their religions. Carlos said from a sorcerer's standpoint that they are all a bunch of egomaniacs. He defined the Bible as a book of endless assertions written by egomaniacs.  Carlos said "The first time Don Juan told me that it was like he took a stiletto and stuck into my side. And I bled! Just like many of you in the audience are bleeding right now but I challenge you to go back and read the Bible for yourself. See if you don't come to the same conclusion now that I have brought it to your attention." Carlos also defined the concept of Heaven as the deification of all that is human. According to sorcerers religions simply place mankind up on a pedestal that he doesn't belong. Carlos also said that the concept of reincarnation was too egotistical for sorcerers. For them the notion that we are so wonderful that some deity is going to guarantee us that we are going to get to keep coming back life time after life time is just too arrogant.

Shamanism
Carlos told us that one time after he gave a lecture a man came up to him and said, "I am a shaman and I can kill people with my eyes." Carlos cowers and acts like he is afraid. Then the man said, "It's good to know that in real life you are not as stupid as you portray yourself in your books." Carlos told him thank you. The man then said, "Because of that I am going to allow you to share Tumock with me" (I am not sure what the actual word was but I assume that it was some kind of pipe ceremony). I think Carlos just walked away from the guy. As the seminar went on it became clear that Carlos did not think much of Shamans. One day he started dancing on the stage imitating a shaman shaking a rattle saying, "Hay aah hay aah I'm talking to the spirits hay aah hay aah." I guess some neo-shaman in the seminar was offended and told somebody connected to Carlos. So the next day Carlos daintily walked on the stage saying, "It has been brought to my attention that some people here are offended by me attacking their cherished beliefs." He said that when he was in Mexico he had to be real careful when he said anything about Catholicism because people were so easily offended. Now here in the US if you say anything about Native Americans people act the same way. Carlos asked us what was so wonderful about Native Americans. He said that they had some bad environmental practices too. Then for the people who feel sorry for them because they had been conquered, he said "Just as you came and took this land away from them believe me some day somebody's going to come along and take it from you."

There Will Be No Limelight For Carlos Castaneda
He told the story about how his agent nearly died of a heart attack. He went to see his agent in the 1970's and his agent happily reported that he had worked out a million dollar deal with American Express. He wanted Carlos to do a commercial holding an American Express card and saying "Hi I am Carlos Castaneda and I use American Express." When Carlos turned the offer down flat his agent got all sweaty and started shaking. He eventually had to unbutton his shirt and Carlos thought for sure that he was going to have a heart attack. Carlos said that Don Juan made him promise to never be in the limelight.

John

4

To: The Ixtlan Mailing List
Date: 95-08-26 02:29:34 EDT

TENSEGRITY LA WORKSHOP - August 1995 MOVEMENTS

Slogan: If you over-exert it, you hurt it.

The chacmools made suggestions about foods we should avoid during the workshop. These included foods that contain refined sugar, and sugar-starches. They say that we are trying to break out of the confines of our personal history, and that eating sugars ties us right back into it.[ For instance, when we were little, our parents used to try and shut us up with bribes of candy]. The chacmools said we should also cut back on our consumption of starches and fruits. We should also avoid coffee.

(They also said not to eat extra salt, and to eat a lot of protein, and drink a lot of water)

Kylie said to us:
Suspend judgement both about Carlos Castaneda and about the movements. Be aware at all times of what you are doing. These are mystical passes. The movements seem very subtle at times, but that's how things are in the sorcerer's world.

Basic stance: feet about shoulder length apart, toes turned in [slightly], knees turned out

[to arrive at this position, place feet together, turn toes out at 45 degrees, pivot on heels bringing feet parallel, then turn toes inward]

knees slightly bent. [this position is similar to the horse  stance of martial arts]

(but the knees are not bent nearly as much)

1.Pigeon-toe walk

In general, whenever walking, try to walk with toes turned in, just slightly. Walking this way, which is not natural for most people [most people walk with toes turned out] , helps us maintain awareness of our actions.

2. The Butterfly in Repose and Flight

Preliminary movements, part 1:

horse stance, but legs straight

(but never completely straight, do not lock the knees)

hands out in front, palms up, about 1 foot apart, elbows bent relax hands, then tense hands, pulling fingers together, and locking thumb [locked thumb means thumb tight against hand either straight or curled on palm] . Palms are flat. [become familiar with the muscles in the palm; don't curl or overextend the hand]. While maintaining tension in hands, attention is on armpits.

tense and release now tense arms and hands and pull arms and hands back towards the body; make the movement almost imperceptible. Think of lines of energy going up the arm [concentrate on the feeling in the arms].

Preliminary butterfly, part 2:

stand straight with hands out in front, palms up, elbows bent. bend slightly forward at the waist, with attention on stomach. as you bend, bring hands down on either side and straight back behind you, as high as you can reach, with palms down. chin also down.

(as high as you can reach without struggling at all)

do this several times, back and forth. inhale while bringing arms forward, exhale while bringing them behind now stop with hands behind, as high as you can reach, and flutter your hands by moving them towards each other several inches rapidly.

Butterfly Pass

Part 1: Butterfly in Repose

(I do not think the entire first part of the pass is called Butterfly in Repose. That referred to a specific warm-up. It was part 3 of the warm-ups. Butterfly in Repose is done exactly like part two above, except when you reach the arms back position, you hold it there, still (instead of fluttering), at the highest point behind you, and look up. Hold that pose (Butterfly in repose) for a few moments, then exhale as you  stand up straight, and let your palms return to your sides.)

(I think the first part of the pass was called: Butterfly in Flight. It follows...)

Start out with hands in front, palms up, relaxed, in toes-in stance Knees straight but not locked. Bend at waist, tighten hands and bring arms behind you as high as you can comfortably get them. [arms should not be higher than parallel to floor, because when you bring the arms up and out to make the wings, you want to be able to make a gentle arc out of it, at around 45 degrees] Head is down.

(Exhale when swinging the hands back, and when they get back there, inhale and exhale once before proceeding)

With a quick movement, turn palms vertical to floor, thumbs down [You are now in flight position: bent at waist, head down, palms arms behind you, palms vertical to floor-think of a swimmer in the starting block]
Bring arms out in an arc in front of you at head level. let arms sweep out to the sides; PULL the arms up with a snap-like movement, relaxed until the end of the arc; do NOT lock the elbows; you can severely injure them that way. Use the entire arm in the wing motion, starting from the shoulder. palms will face outwards; backs of hands close together but not touching; arms slightly bent, hands straight as you bring the arms up, bend knees somewhat engage the stomach with the snap

Bring head up and inhale as you bring the arms up; lower head and exhale as you lower arms. Look out to infinity through the space between the hands Now snap arms back again in an arc behind you, palms will be facing each other but not touching; stand straight Do this 6 times

(As you snap the arms up, your knees bend, and as you snap the arms down, the knees straigten again)

At the end of the 6th arc, arms are behind you, hands still in flight position, now flip hands to face floor, raise head Maintain bend at waist [only when bringing arms forward at the top of the arc, do you unbend at the waist]

Point toes of left foot down and make 3 circular pawing motions with your left foot, raising the knee high, and moving the foot forward, and then down to the floor; just graze the floor with your toes [whoops! always remember to wear shoes] :). the pawing motion should be done with a snap

(The snap in the pawing motion happens when you raise the leg, rather than when you lower it)

Repeat pawing motion with right foot 3 times Think of antennae coming out of the top of your head [insect antennae, not rabbit-ears] :) during the whole pass

(I do not agree that you are supposed to think of this through the whole pass. Nyei is the only one that mentioned this at all, and she did it near the end of this pawing movement a couple of times. Basically, be silent.)

Now bring hands down by sides with palms facing front, and straighten back

(You exhale during this last motion)

Part 2: Butterfly Feeling the World Around It

Start out with arms in front, hands relaxed Tighten arms and hands, bring them behind you, hands facing down

(inhale and exhale one time)

Get into flight position {bend at waist, arms behind, hands vertical, head down] Bend elbows, bring them forward, and to each side slightly in front of the body;

(This will look like you are making half of a rectangle out of the frame of your arms, opening toward the ground)

bring hands in to center at waist level, palms facing, fingers pointed down. Now raise hands, and bring them up in front of the body, palms facing each other [like praying]. When the hands get about face-high, curl the thumb and 4th and 5th fingers, and point the 2nd and 3rd, as you thrust up and out with the arms, making a large V [snap it up]

(You make this V up over your head, but not straight up. Your arms go both up and forward, and out to the side, in about a 45 degree angle)

Make 6 inward ovals, not circles [about 1 1/2 feet diameter] with pointed fingers, arms still outstretched and raised; snap each oval and pause for an instant before doing the next one

(For these ovals, your fingers move towards each other first, coming within inches of each other in the center, then down, around and back up. Each oval is probably about two feet wide, but this varies from person to person. The snapping is done as you move the arms back to the V position. Be sure to keep a slight bend in your elbows so you don't hurt them.)

Look at a point between the hands, and blink periodically, making sure not to stare

(Blink periodically like this and look between the hands while doing ALL the ovals, both the inward and outward ones)

Now, bring hands close together, still looking between them, and pivot body to the left; the gaze follows.

(You swing the hands in to point straight up and out in front, then, as you pivot the body to the left, you swing your straight  arms to the left, still angling up at a 45 degree angle, with hands still close together. The gaze stays looking out to infinity through the gap between your hands.)

Make 6 outward snapping ovals; then pivot to the right

(The hands are together at first, so they move away from each other, then down and around, and back to the center. The snap comes when you move them back toward the center. After finishing the ovals to the left, swing your straight arms all the way to the right, while pivoting your body. Actually, all that pivots is your upper trunk.)

Make 6 outward ovals, return to center

Now swing to the left with the two arms, then to the right, with a quick snap pause; do it 6 times on each side [put a little arc in your swing]

(In other words, your arms and hands dip down just a little in the center each time while passing through to the other side.)

the hands still together about 4 inches apart Return to center; eyes follow. Now with arms still up in the air, bring your head down so that your ears rub the upper part of your upper arms; make tiny circles with your upper arms to do this

(Rub your ears with your upper arms 6 times)

Bring your hands down in front, two fingers still pointed, hands facing each other, elbows out [at some point, forearms, and hands will form a straight line parallel to the floor in front of your body] Move forearms down and out so that fingers point to floor

(This is a move back to the half rectangle position of before, but this time fingers are still in the butterfly position. There is a little snap when you move back to the open half rectangle position. Then there is a second snap, as you move each hand out further sideways, just a few more inches, opening outward the sides of the rectangle just a bit.)

Move arms back, palms facing floor, two fingers still pointed

(I don't quite agree here. You snap the arms back to the same position as flight position, except that the hands are still in "oval" position. In other words, the palms are still facing each other.)

[Do above motions with a quick snap] Straighten fingers ((with a little snap, palms still facing))

(Now you are back in "flight position")

Turn hands to face floor

(If you are going to continue on with the next part here, and you should, do not turn hands to face floor, rather, just leave them in flight position.)

Part 3: Butterfly in Flight

Continuing on, turn hands into flight position

Now make wings 6 times as in part 1, but this time rise up on toes as you bring hands forward [the chacmools say there are muscles in the calf and bottom of feet that we need to exercise]

(Yes, and bend the knees quite a bit, as you go up on the toes, look up, and snap your arms up, while inhaling; Straighten the knees without locking them, as you go down from the toes, look down, and snap your arms back behind you, while exhaling.)

End up with arms back, turn palms to face floor (Turn the palms down with a slight snapping motion)

Stand straight and bring hands forward to side of body (as you exhale)

The Chacmools said the following while teaching the Butterfly:

A key is to give the body the time to hook into the intent

Allow the body to work on the movement without allowing your expectations to surface.

We are going to hook into intent by becoming more and more precise

When doing the movements where you need to stop quickly, jerk to a stop. This will bring out the tensegrity from the center of the body.

3. Pushing the Right Body to the Left, and the Left Body to the Right

[Carlos told a story to the Chacmools about how we think the right side of the body is so dexterious and can do anything, and the left side just drags along after it. This movement is designed to balance the two sides]

Leg movements:
- in horse stance, put all weight on right foot.
- move left leg in semi-circle forward until it is directly in front of the right foot. at all times keep left foot on floor  [slide it] and toes kept pointed forward.

(Keep the leg that slides forward fairly straight)

- now back to horse stance
- repeat on opposite leg

Arm Movements:
- hands down at sides, relaxed.
- tense right arm with a jerk and point it straight down

You can bring it up just an inch or two before snapping it straight down, keep hands in thumbs pulled in position.

- at the same time, bring up left hand with a jerk, with palm pointed forward and vertical to the ground. the left forearm ends up parallel to the ground [it's like a reverse chop, coming up instead of down].
- now, bring left hand up and out to the left in a flinging motion kind of like a backward slap; (your left hand will be up higher than your head, while your upper left arm will be parallel to the floor.) the arm and hand should be relaxed until just before the end of the motion; at the end of the motion, the left hand is facing forward; arm is outstretched to left slightly, and is not tense.
- as left hand comes up, right hand also moves up to waist level, with a jerk, in a vertical movement to a point several inches  in front of the umbilicus, hand is vertical to floor, thumb up (One way of doing this is to have the right hand do exactly the same thing the left hand did, when it snapped up parallel to the ground. Another way, which I saw Nyei doing, is to have the right hand come up a little further and angle in toward the chest, sort of like a "block" done with the back of the right hand. Another way is as Jane describes.)
- now, push down very fast with the left hand to the right, ending up with the left hand waist high and several inches in front of the body, at the midline, perpendicular to the ground. stop the hand motions with a jerk.

(I saw this pushing movement done two ways. One way the hand is parallel to the ground, and the other way it is perpendicular. Looks like we have a question here.)

as the left hand moves down [this movement is not supposed to be a chop, but more as a very fast push], the right hand moves back down to the right side, in a slicing motion [the pushing hand should be largely horizontal, although it will describe an arc downwards as it approaches the center of the body-don't bring the hand past center. the other hand motion will be strictly vertical downward]

Coordinating Upper and Lower Body Movements
- as you bring the left hand down, shift your weight to the right foot and slide your left foot to the front as explained above.
- make sure you slide the foot in front back to its original position.
- relax.

Now do the whole maneuver with the opposite side The idea is to alternate, first one side then the other, pausing for only a second or two between. When you become proficient in the movement, you can do it faster and faster, as long as you can maintain control and awareness at all times.

(Do this exercise, and indeed, all of the exercises, in multiples of three, i.e. do 3, or 6, or 9, or 12 repetitions)

4. Realigning the Left and Right Body

Horse stance, then weight on right foot Left leg straight with toes pointed Lift left leg with foot and toes pointed straight out in front, foot should be a foot off the ground

(six inches to a foot)

Jump up, pointing toes of right foot and stretching and straightening right leg

(The right leg and foot kick out in approximately the same position the left leg was in, the right toe reaching it's forwardmost position as you land flat on the left foot.)

Land on left foot, bringing in right foot, putting both feet on ground, now back in horse stance

At the same time as you are landing on the left foot, raise the left arm;

(The arm begins to jerk up as you land on the left foot, and completes it's upward motion about the time your right foot lands.)

the upper arm is parallel to the floor, the forearm is vertical to the floor, the palm of the hand faces the midline, and the index and 3rd fingers make a V, with the other fingers folded

The thumb holds the 4th and 5th fingers, like a boy scout salute.

(I do not think the upper arm is parallel to the floor, as that would make the frame too high. The upper arm angles downward slightly and slightly out in front of the body, so that the V of the fingers is just slightly above the level of the top of the head, and just an inch or so in front of the body.)

Now raise the right leg, putting all the weight on the left, and place the right lower leg across the left knee.

(Another way to say this is that the right ankle goes right above the left knee, as men often sit in a chair.)

At the same time as you move the right leg, raise the right arm over the head and place the index and 3rd fingers of the right hand in the V of the left hand, and the right hand will face forward You are making a frame with the arms; look through under your right arm

Hold this balancing position for a count of 6.

(Many find it easier to balance if they bend the left knee some. It was also recommended to pick a point out in front of you to stare at to help you balance. Personally, I find the only way to balance well is to be as internally silent as possible, and feel as if your left foot is rooted to the floor.)

Relax back to beginning stance. Do 2 more times on left; then do 3 times on right side Gaze is straight ahead during this pass

5. The First Movement of the Male and Female Winged Fighter

(I got the title as: Male and Female Winged Fighters, plural)

[This pass pertains to the Death Defier]

Horse stance. Inhale, bringing arms forward, hands up; bring arms out full length in front with palms vertical, thumbs up, about 6 inches apart, and bring them into the body at the middle of the body between the umbilicus and the ribcage [pancreas, liver area]. Really push the balls of the hands into your stomach Do this 3 times Now the third time, make a big effort to exhale completely [the chacmools made a big point to try and get rid of as much of that stale air in our lungs as we can]

(Exhale as completely as possible on all three breaths, but make an extra effort on the last one to get it all out.)

Really push the hands in on this last breath, and actually bend over a little, crunching your stomach Next, while holding the hands in tightly to the body,

(in the same hand position you ended up in on the breaths)

put weight on right foot Now, slide left foot into right, turn it inward, and pull it up along the right lower leg to the knee level; now bring it out and back down to the ground making a circle [think of it as making a scooping motion]. the whole time the left foot is facing forward The left foot should turn inward so that the instep slides up the right leg

(At one point, the bottom of the foot may be facing the right leg. Keep the toes pointing straight forward, don't let them angle upwards or downwards.)

Make 3 of these circles. Now do 3 scoops with the left foot without stopping

(In other words, don't return your left foot to the ground until the end of the third scoop. Yes, this requires lots of balance.)

Continue to hold hands in position Next without stopping, do 3 continuous scoops with the right foot Finish up with 3 single scoops with the right foot Back to horse stance with hands down at sides Breathe normally during the scooping movements

(We were shown several further fragments of this movement, but it never came together as a whole, to my disappointment. Now they say they are going to complete it in Scottsdale.)

6. To Wake up the Antsy Feelings

(I got the title as: To Wake Up That Antsy Feeling)

Part 1.

Horse stance. Hands out in front of body, palms up, elbows bent Clench fingers in scrabbling or scratching motion 20 times

(Tense and wiggle your fingers frenetically. I also saw the Chacmools sort of bouncing their hands  up and down while they did this)

Turn hands over, scrabble 20 times (fingers facing the floor)

Bend knees halfway; Squat down further; Squat to floor.

(Still hold your scrabbling hands out in front of you as you bend down to the floor in three motions, but do not scrabble again until you hit the floor. You hit the floor somewhat dramatically on THREE, and again start scrabbling vigorously. Keep your butt down low, and your feet flat on the floor.)

With hands on floor scrabble 20 times on floor [always 20 times]

Stand up and repeat palm up and then down scratchings but this time only with 1st 3 fingers; 4th and 5th are curled into palm Do 3-stage squat, scrabble on floor with 3 fingers

Grab outside of left lower leg with the 3 fingers of both

(left hand goes to left knee, right hand just above left)

hands [only use the 3 fingers from here on] ; left hand below right Hands move up outside of left leg, squeezing and kneading the outside of the leg The left hand stops in the axilla [armpit] with the thumb right in the `crotch' of the axilla squeezing an important tendon in that spot. The right hand stops with the fingers on the back of the shoulder near the top of the scapula.

The next part is tricky: the left hand, remember, is in the axilla, and the right hand is above it on the shoulder;  the hands now move down, around the outside of the left breast, the right hand following the left [still performing the 3-fingered massage]. When the hands get under the center of the left breast, they will be crossed, with the right hand over the left

Now, bring the right hand ahead of the left so that the right hand now leads in the progression around and up the inside of the left breast,

(Another way to say this: bring the right hand *under* the left, and go squeezing back around the right side of the left breast, with the right hand leading the left until you get back to the same position as before, with the right hand over the left shoulder and the left hand in the axcilla.)

until you get over to the left axilla again Here the left hand again grabs that tendon, and the right hand goes up and over the right shoulder

Repeat part 1 from the 3-fingered scrabbling on the right side, remembering to make sure the right hand is below the left when you squeeze up the right leg, etc.

Part 2

Scrabble with 3 fingers, 20 times with palms up, 20 times with palms down; 3-part squat as above; Scrabble on ground 20 times; Grab outsides of ankles with claws; Squeeze up outside of legs to knees; go across knees to inside of knees; Now down inside of knees to ankles, across top of ankles and around to the backs of the ankles. Squeeze up the backs of the legs, including the gluteus, as high as you can go, up to the area of the adrenal glands. Hands down. Take left hand and squeeze over top of right shoulder

(You fling your hand over your left shoulder, back as far as you can, and squeeze repeatedly as you bring it back over the shoulder, ending up squeezing the right breast.)

Do the same with right hand over left shoulder

(There is a another part, which has been left out here. I will describe it. Actually, it was said there are 5 parts to this movement. The first part is nothing but scrabbling with all five fingers. All remaining parts use three fingers and include squeezing sequences. The second part is from left knee to left armpit. The third part is right knee to right armpit. The fourth part is outside of ankles, etc.)

The fifth part is:
Scrabble with 3 fingers palms up 20 times; Scrabble with 3 fingers palms down 20 times; Move downwards, one, two, three; Scrabble with 3 fingers on floor 20 times. (note: when scrabbling on the floor, you are supposed to be getting energy from down there)

Then hands go to the inside of the knees; Squeeze up the inside of the thighs; squeeze the genitals, and continue squeezing up to the navel; and squeeze the navel real good.

That's the end of the pass.

Death Defier Pass: Pecking for a new Position of the Assemblage Point

Warmups for this pass: [must be done before doing the pass]

1st warmup:
feet together; slide toes out at a 45 degree angle, heels together; now raise up, sliding feet so that toes are together and heels out, then toes out and heels in do this 20 or 30 times.

(Go up on your toes as far as you can. Make sure your toes are doing most of the work, rather than bouncing.)

2nd warmup:
stand with feet slightly apart; raise left foot up so that sole points to the right and slap the sole with right hand; repeat with other foot; do 20 or 30 times; don't bend over; keep hands down use your stomach to help you raise the legs.

(This seems to be most effective done slowly. Your hands are held straight out at just below shoulder height, and do not let them come up higher than that. Use your stomach as much as possible when raising your legs, and consciously tense the stomach. You can even pause for a little bit before lowering your leg to engage the stomach to the maximum.)

3rd warmup:
stand with feet facing forward and shoulder-width apart; jump up and come down with left foot slightly forward and left foot slightly back, separated by about one foot's length; toes always pointed forward; now jump up and put the right foot forward and the left back; repeat without stopping till worn out [just kidding].

(When Kylie lead these, she would call out the number of jumps she wanted us to do, i.e. she would say ONE, and we would jump once, switching to opposite foot forward; or she would say TWO, and we would jump twice, ending up with the same foot forward, etc. She mixed this up, so as to keep the exercise from becoming robotic. Bend the front knee some, while keeping the back leg straight but without locking the knee. The thighs and buttocks should be held tense when you land. Keep your weight well centered between the two legs, perhaps a bit more to the front leg, and jump lightly and with agility.)

The Pass:
Feet slightly apart; Hand position [to be maintained throughout the pass]: index finger extended and slightly curved thumb outstretched, tip resting against palmar aspect of index finger somewhere between the two knuckles [whatever is comfortable] other 3 fingers are folded lying against palm [not curled up, but flat].

(Another way of describing the hand position: Flatten the 3rd, 4th, and little fingers against the palms as much as possible (it is actually only the last two joints of these fingers which "flatten"). Then lay the underside of the thumbs down on top of the sides of the third fingers. Finally, flatten the undersides of the index fingers against the sides of the thumbs, curving the last part of the index fingers over the tips of the thumbs (letting whatever is left of your index fingers just hang out straight))

Jump up placing left foot out in front and right foot back, toes pointed forward, feet shoulder width apart

(Just as in warmup exercise number three above)

Bring hands together at midchest height, about one foot in front; palms are facing each other, hands vertical, index fingers pointing at each other, about 6 inches apart; Now make jabbing motions with hands towards each other 5 times; these movements are quick and fast; the whole body should shake; don't bring hands out to sides very far; they shouldn't move  horizontally more than 6 inches or so, and the fingers never touch [because this part of the movement is repeated so many times,  I'm going to call it the 5-pecker].

(I do not do the "5-pecker" this way. I believe that it was done this way, primarily when we were speeding through it a lot of the time. But when we were originally shown the motion, it was a lot like the mini-passes Carlos taught, and contained a larger and more vigorous snapping motion. I do it by cocking my wrist back, moving my hands back to at least shoulder width apart with palms facing forward. Then I snap my wrists, bringing my hands down, in, and turning the tip of the index fingers in towards each other simultaneously with a vigorous Tensegrity snap. My fingers move more than a foot each time, and stop with the tips three or four inches apart (the assemblage point is about the size of a tennis ball). Either method probably works. The more movement and the harder the snap, the greater the jolt. I saw the Chacmools doing it both ways. This could be another question. Maybe this is why I sweat like a pig when I do this one.)

Bend over and do pecking 20 times behind the left knee.

(Bend the knees, but keep your feet facing forward and flat on the floor. One hand on each side of your left  leg. Again, do the pecks with a vigorous snap of the wrists each time, cocking them back enough to do this.)

Stand up and do the 5-pecker

Jump up and exchange feet position with right foot now out in front Bend down and peck behind right knee 20 times

Stand up and do the 5-pecker

(After this 5-pecker, jump up and land with feet parallel as in horse position. Then...)

Squat down and peck 20 times behind both knees

(Behind both knees at the same time, again, hands coming up enough to be cocked so you can snap your wrists hard on each peck)

Stand up, hands at sides at waist level [still maintaining the pecking hand position] Do five-pecker

Right hand now makes a large circle forward and up, coming back to waist level; index finger pointed towards the left,  palm vertical

(I say the right hand does not come back to waist level, you just extend it *as if* you might be about to make such a circling motion, and as you do this you cock the left arm back. At the full extension of the right arm, the left arm strikes, while simultaneously the right index finger shoots in to the place where the muscles of the chest join the right arm.)

At the same time that the right hand is circling, the left hand is cocked back at the left side of the waist,

(I tend to do this somewhat above the waist. I don't know.)

with elbow back, index finger facing front Now, shoot the left arm out forward and up aiming for a point in front of the body, at eye height, with the arm outstretched [but do NOT lock elbow]; the left index finger points to the right  and the left palm faces to the right

(I say the left index finger faces the front on the strike, and all the first pecks are to the front also, which have been left out here.)

At the same time as the left hand shoots out and up, the right hand which ended up back at the right side of the body at waist level, shoots up to the left axilla with the index finger buried in the tendon there

(I'm almost positive that is incorrect. It is much more clumsy to do that, than to shoot it directly to the axcilla from it's extended position.)

IMPORTANT: left out of the above is 10 pecks to the front, at about chin level, right after the strike to the front. 1995 Index finger faces forward, vigorous snapping motion, engaging the arms, shoulders, and even the stomach if possible.

Do 5-pecker

Repeat the circling maneuver described above on the opposite side, starting with the left arm; then the RIGHT arm will be thrust out and the LEFT hand will shoot up to the right axilla

(Then do 10 pecks to the front with the right arm, as described above.)

Do 5-pecker

Now do 3 large forward circles, beginning with the right arm These circling motions should be performed with accompanying hip and shoulder movements, so that when making the circle with the right arm, the right shoulder, torso, and hips turn partway  to the left, and then back to the right when the left arm  comes forward. At the end of the 3rd circle, the right arm is up and out, with the right palm facing left and the right index finger  pointing to the left; the left is cocked at the left side of the waist, elbow back, palm up, index finger pointing forward

(I would describe them as ovals more than circles, and actually I would describe it like this: lead up with the right, then as the right comes back, the left comes forward, then the right comes forward again as the left comes back and cocks. Right stays extended while left is cocked.)

Now shoot the left arm up and out forward to a point at approximately  chin level, in the midline, with the left arm straight but elbow not locked left palm faces right side, left index finger points not straight ahead, not to the right, but at a point in between  [remember, index finger remains slightly bent, with the thumb resting against it]

At the same time that the left arm shoots out, bring the right hand across the body to the left shoulder and hook  the index finger into the large tendon in the axilla

(At the end they had us going higher with this strike, up slightly above the head. In this one, your striking hand moves kind of like a cork screw, turning from palm up to palm down. The thrust is straight up, but because your index finger hangs over it, it will point in some toward the center.)

Make a little jab with the left index finger to the right, then to the front do this ten times [first to the right then to the front, for a total of 20]

(This is a bit more complex. The little jabs, again, should engage the arms, shoulders, and even the stomach. The jabs are at about chin level. The first one in each pair (using the left hand) is in to the right, while the second jab is to the front but also turned very slightly up and very slightly back out toward the left.)

Do 5-pecker

Repeat this maneuver on the opposite side, beginning the roll with the left arm

(The whole maneuver above is repeated, striking and  pecking this time with the right.)

Hands at sides at waist level Make large roll with right hand, bringing hand up close to chest then out above head about one foot in front of body;  index finger points to left side

(And Carlos even extended the left arm a bit behind him, down at his side.)

As right hand starts its forward and down movement to complete a circle [without pause], the left hand starts to come  up to make a circle identical to the right hand circle, then end up with the right hand making another half-circle  and stopping at the top of its arc; left hand is down at waist. when making these circles, lead with the shoulder using entire arm

(This was described as being like "pulling a string", making 2 1/2 circles (one with the left arm and 1 1/2 with the right arm.)

With weight on right leg, quickly raise left knee, peck once in front of knee, then behind knee very rapidly

(The final version of this wound up being the way Carlos originally did it, which is different from the above. With weight on right leg, quickly raise left knee, peck once in front of knee, then lower left foot to the floor. Quickly raise left knee again, peck once behind the knee, then lower foot to the floor again. Repeat this whole sequence with the right leg.)

Repeat on right side.
Peck 3 times in front of body, once at chest level, once at waist level and the third time at hip level

(I got something different here. You peck three times, at the abdominal/solar plexus level, with each peck moving slightly closer in toward the body, that is, the first peck has arms extended further in front, than the subsequent two pecks, which come gradually closer.)

Then immediately peck once behind body

(At about waist level. So this is a series of four pecks. Three in front and one in back.)

Now throw the left arm forward with a jerk and extend it forward, index finger pointing down; immediately do the same  with the right arm

(This is like a swinging overhand peck. The hands come from behind you completely up and over the head in a wide circular motion with arm completely extended, to slam down in a peck at waist level, with index finger pointing down.)

arms should be straight out in front; do 3 times with each arm.

(Here is another subtlety. This time, the first six pecks to in pairs, and each pair also gets progressively closer to  the body but only slightly so, so that by the last pair of pecks, the arms are slightly bent in front. Again, make sure each of these pecks, includes a wide overhand swinging motion, that goes clear around behind you, and up over your head before striking.)

The 7th time, throw the left arm out at a 45 degree angle to the left, and then the right arm 45 degrees to the left, index fingers still pointed down

(Yes, on the last pair of pecks (peck 7 and peck 8), swing your arms in their full extension again, and this time strike much further out from your sides, but still with full extension to the front.)

Now make two and a half large double rolls to the front with the hands, starting at waist level and coming up close to the body, then up and out stoop shoulders as you do these rolls; end with hands up above head and slightly forward

(These rolls get progressively higher. The first one is the largest and the lowest (waist to shoulders), the second one from about solar plexus to top of head, and the last half a roll from about the chin to 6 inches above the head. While you do these rolls, the tips of your index fingers face each other, 4 to 6 inches apart. After the last half roll, hunch your shoulders, and lean slightly forward, and tense your muscles.)

Now let the assemblage point roll down your back to the floor, still with stooped back [rabbit back]

(Intend it to drop to the level of the floor. They actually wiggle a little bit here, as if trying to coax it to slide down.)

Next, bend over quickly and pick up AP with two index fingers [jab at it with the two index fingers index fingers  pointed at each other about 1 inch apart

(I would say about 2-3 inches apart, again the AP is about the size of a tennis ball. This is a dramatic plunging strike, to pick up the assemblage point, right between your feet in front of you. Carlos would say: ZOSS!)

Rise up bringing the AP up and place it into the umbilical area [the place of the cohesive force that holds us together].

(As you rise up, maintain a tension in your arms and stomach to the point that your arms shake, as if it requires much effort to raise the AP.)

Shove it in

(This is fairly lengthy here. You use your index fingers to screw the AP into your umbilical region, vigorously massaging the organs in that area, while actually groaning audibly regarding how good that feels, and at the end of this process, making sure to exhale very thoroughly.)

Now bring hands forward at waist level, all fingers extended, hands are bent backwards at right angle, fingers up, palms facing forwards, arms stretched out forward Bring hands down facing floor, while inhaling

(This whole movement is done with an inhalation, since you just finished a long exhalation while screwing in the AP. Start with hands at waist level, and rotate them in a circle, with palms always out away from you, moving first up towards the chin, then around in front with arms extended, then back around and turn palms down towards the floor, while elbows extend clear behind you. Hands stop just under the breast. Inhale deeply throughout and expand the chest in the final position.)

Stop inhaling, place hands on stomach just beneath rib cage, fingers facing each other, exhale

(Make sure to place hands on stomach *before* beginning this last very thorough exhalation.)

Filling the Gourd

Bend left arm, bring left hand up to front of right shoulder, palm up, arm is relaxed, inhale Right arm is loosely held stretched out in front, palm up; arm is relaxed and elbow slightly bent

(Both arms start at the sides, and come up to the positions above simultaneously in a very elegant, relaxed motion.)

Exhale while passing left hand [with palm up] down over top of right arm, barely brushing the right arm; bring left hand out to a point approximately 1 foot beyond the tips of the outstretched right fingers

(In order to do this, you will have to draw back the right elbow a little bit.)

Now turn the left hand over so the palm is down and inhale while bringing the left hand back along the top of the right arm barely brushing it, to the shoulder

(Reextending the right arm a little bit in the process.)

Curl the left hand into the left shoulder and throw the left arm out to the front, using the whole arm including the shoulder,  so that the shoulder comes forward; the motion ends with the  left palm up, and the arm not tensed

It is kind of like an unfurling or coiling and uncoiling of the arm, with arm ending up extended in front of you with shoulder rounded, and again, it is a relaxed, gentle,  elegant movement. It is as if you are making a grand gesture and offering or presenting something to someone, like: "Voila!"

At the same time that the left arm starts its curling motion, the right hand begins to curl in to the right shoulder,  is brought up and out in the same manner as the left, using the entire right arm and shoulder; so at the completion of this motion, the two hands are out in front, in an almost supplicating position

The right hand mimics the left and follows just behind it in terms of the sequence of motions.

But this is not the end of the pass. Part of it is missing. The rest is:

After exhaling very completely with arms extended, draw arms in, with palms up, hands ending up just under the breasts near your sides, in front of the body,  so that elbows extend behind you, and inhale, expanding the chest, while doing this.

Finally, turn your palms over, facing the floor, and exhale as you slowly push your hands down until the arms are fully extended at your sides. Right here comes the moment of exquisite silence.))

NOTE: This whole first part of the pass (above) is not part of the pass itself. It is a *preliminary* pass, and it is always to be done right before Filling the Gourd, But it has no name. My personal comment is that this pass  brings very pronounced internal silence right at the end.

Filling the Gourd follows:

Now, take a step to the left

A pronounced step, lifting the knee significantly.

With weight on right leg, which is slightly bent, point left toe with left leg lifted slightly off the ground, left leg straight Tap left toe five times, then tap left heel five times then while standing on left heel, jump up, landing on right heel, then both feet flat on floor

You tap vigorously with the left toe, then bring the foot in toward you a little bit to stomp vigorously with the heel. There is a peculiar rhythm which is difficult to describe to this sequence, and the end is tricky. It goes:

BOMP BOMP BOMP BOMP BOMP....BOMP*****BA DOMP!

LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT*****LEFT RIGHT
HEEL HEEL HEEL HEEL HEEL HEEL*****HEEL HEEL
(Where the asterisks are, you take a little hop, landing on the left heel first, followed right away by the right heel. For a moment, you are standing balancing on your heels, before leaning forward into an ordinary horse position. The last three stomps are not out in front of you anymore.)

Now place hands at sides of waist, fingers pointing down, palms against body, elbows out to sides, hold body tight [brace position]

(Palms sort of cupping hip bones) Make a quick slight turn to the left with trunk and head

Place hands in gourd position [hands parallel to floor above waist and ribs, fingers pointing towards each other but not touching] (below ribs)

(Kylie showed me to do this by making a quick circular movement across the lower abdomen with the hands before sliding them quickly into the position described, on the sides of the stomach, with fingers pointing toward navel.  This is like the "open position" from which you can open the  gourd, while the hands on hips position is the "closed position".)

Open left gourd by sliding left hand back several inches to the left side of the body, bringing left elbow out

Elbow comes out behind you. Hand comes slightly behind you, keep hand in thumbs pulled in position.

Now scan the horizon on the left, starting way to the left, and bringing the left arm and hand out and back on the left and around in a circle to the front, still with the trunk  of the body turned slightly to the left [the scanning arm is parallel to the ground and the scan is done  at eye level] The left hand is then brought back to the open gourd position, and then is closed by moving it forward again  toward the front of the body

Back into its original position on the stomach.

Now, still facing the left, open the right side of the gourd with the right hand, and scan with the right hand, first behind to the right and then moving the right hand in a circle

(No, this does not go to the right, be careful to move it only toward the left-center and the left, as it scoops around, scanning far to the left, before sweeping back around behind you and back into the gourd.)

to the front and slightly to the left, eyes following hand;  then bring right hand back to open gourd position and then closed position [during the scans the hands are palm down]

Turn body to face front; now repeat scans with left, and then right arm, remembering to open gourd first and then close it

This time you scan or "scoop" (it's a scoop with flat palms), to the center section, making ovals to the left-center and the right-center at eye level.

Take step to right

With weight on left leg, point right toe and tap toe on ground 5 times. then tap right heel 5 times, jump up and land on left heel, then feet flat on floor Place hands in brace position Quick turn to the right; look, see that there is nothing there Turn and walk away

Look fiercely to the right, then after a moment, turn and walk away to the left, as if there was nothing there to the right. Of course, walk with toes turned in.

The Sorcerers' Search

Stand in basic stance, hold arms out in front, elbows bent and down, palms up, arms relaxed With a quick motion, bring arms down and behind you curling palms and fingers simian fashion, placing curled hands as high up as you can reach on your back in the area of the kidneys/adrenals

Kind of make a swinging motion like a rocking chair. Another way to describe the final hand position would be  to say they are like a praying mantis' hands. You place the back of your wrists on your back about mid-way up, and press in, but not too hard.

Now make 2 1/2 circles with the eyes counter-clockwise to the left, starting at eye level, and ending up at a point 90 degrees to the left these circles should be about 2-3 feet in diameter [don't use  your head so much as your eyes]

It is normal for your head to move as your eyes do though. The Chacmools moved their heads in circles. These first circles are done looking out into space toward the horizon, and so it is somewhat misleading to say they are 2-3 feet in diameter for that reason. The gaze should be in space, somewhere between the level of the eyes and the knees.

(A part of the pass has been left out here. It is: Scan the horizon all the way to the left, all the way around behind you, slowly. Then scan the horizon all the way back around clear to the right, all the way back around behind you to the right. Then scan the horizon back to the center. All scans done at eye level.)

Now bring eyes to center; look straight down at the floor Now make 3 1/2 circles to the left, at floor level, ending up way behind you to your left,  approximately 120 degrees from straight in front

(Yes, these circles are done ON the plane of the floor, extending to the limits of the floor you can see in front of you. When you make the final half a circle I got the impression it was good to let your eyes go on back to a corner of the room behind you and to the left.)

Bring your eyes in a straight line from behind you on your left to a spot between your feet [so it will be a diagonal line from that spot at your left to a spot  between your feet

(Yes, draw a diagonal line from that corner to just in front of you, I got the impression it was more out in front of you than right between your feet)

Look up to the zenith [arch your back], now over to the left horizon, then move your eyes diagonally to a point slightly lower from the zenith directly in front of you Move eyes to the left again, and again back on a slight diagonal to directly in front, a few degrees lower Repeat this maneuver a third time, ending up with eyes looking straight ahead about 20 degrees above the horizon

(This is like a zigzag, going from higher to lower both on the side and in front of you, almost like you are a kid drawing a Christmas tree.)

Bring eyes down to about the level of the genitals Now make a large half ellipse, clockwise to the left, returning eyes back to the center at about eye level

(Getting all of the floor, wall and ceiling just to your left, at least, that's my impression...)

Repeat the entire sequence on the right side; however, all scans will be clockwise except the final semi-ellipse which is counter clockwise

Bring arms out and back, then out to the sides, elbows out, while inhaling; Hold the air in while bringing hands in to body and placing them in the closed gourd position; Hold this and exhale.


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