To:   The Ixtlan Mailing List
Date:   Sat, 5 Jul 1997 10:28:13 +0200

Here are my notes from the lectures in Berlin. I'm no writer, so someone else will have to supply a description of the place, atmoshere etc. These are just my down to fact notes, not verbatim since everyone (except Taisha) spoke in German, and I heard the translation in the headphone, but very close to the gist of it, I think.


Berlin Tensegrity Workshop June 27-29 1997

Friday introductory lecture Florinda Donner Grau

We are a unit, not a group.

The old Nagual had four different names, four different personalities. For Carlos he was don Juan Matus, a stern father. For Carol he was Dilas Grau, he was not a man of this world, he was a magical being. For Taisha he was John Michael Abelar, the man working in the background. For Florinda he was Mauriano Aureliano, a direct and sensitive man. It was his pleasure to make fun of Florinda because she was German - "Are we being German today?", until he completely destroyed her socialization. Carlos is the only one who knows his real name. He had DJ's birth certificate, DJ said one day you might need it to prove my existence. CC burned it one day - that was the moment when he was no longer an anthropologist.

Tensegrity - the movements were disguised in ritualistic ceremonies.

Julian created the Theater of the Real (Sorcery Action Theater).

We are a luminous ball. Energy cannot leave or enter us. What feels like loosing energy is a dispersal of the energy from the vital centers to the outer fringe of the luminous egg. There it gets hard, as a crust.

The six vital centers: pancreas/spleen, liver, kidney/adrenals, vagina/uterus, V-spot, top of the head.

A Nagual is a person who no longer has anything, he is empty, a transmitter for infinity, a ghost, an illusion.

DJ used to say: Don't believe what I say - just do it!

Tensegrity will bring you to the core of shamanism - inner silence. Then we can percieve energy directly as it flows in the universe. Tensegrity will give you tiny seconds of inner silence, that will accumulate and get bigger.

Second lecture Friday
Florinda Donner Grau

We have to state our names out loud when facing the unknown. Eternity needs an identification from us, as beings who are going to die. We are buiding a bridge to eternity by stating our name. Building a bridge to eternity is of outmost importance to sorcerers. Build it by taking total responsibility for whatever we do or say. Small or big problems, once decision is taken there is no way back.

Saturation is important, it makes awareness grow. Our socialization and the syntax of language keeps awareness at a minimum. Ideally the whole luminous sphere should be shining. But the shine is at the level of our feet, socialization keeps it low. The inner dialogue makes the world the way we percieve it. To understand is not enough. All we talk about is ourselves. There is nothing to talk about.

Everything is filtered through the ME. Recapitulation makes us see how our inner dialogue is only about ourselves. Saturation with the magical passes quietens the inner dialogue - that is we can Stop the World - Total Inner Silence. The threshold we have to pass to reach this is different for everyone, but all we need is a minimum of inner silence, then the assemblage point moves. Sorcerers are navigators of the unknown. All of the intent of sorerers is focused on inner silence. Tensegrity gives everyone a chance to reach innner silence through total saturation with magical passses.

Q: isn't the sorcerers' world cold and impersonal?
A: Impersonal yes. We are all alone facing the unknown. There is no group, we are a unit focused to reach a moment of inner silence. We are a unit who are united energetically, not in everyday life, we are individuals, we live apart. We only come together in our purpose.

Q: What are we going to see in inner silence, what does Florinda see?
A: If I move my assemblage point far away you will not see me anymore. Once Florinda and Taisha disappeared in front of Carlos for nine days. He said if they had been gone longer he would have had to start looking for them. But he didn't know where they were. Probably in a shopping center, but which? There are millions of shopping centers in the world, and Taisha knows them all.

Q: Rebirth?
A: No reincarnation. Sorcerers believe that it is a self-important, "me" concept. DJ left this world with his lineage of sorcerers, they burned from within. They pushed their assemblage point to a point where they disappeared, in their totality.

Shamans are not spiritual beings. DJ was not, CC is even less. Sorcerers are interested in everything. DJ always told us that we are beings who have the capacity to perceive, that is never weakened. We are perceivers. We cannot understand on an intellectual level. We all have the capacity to let our awareness grow. It's sleeping, we can awaken it with the magical movements and recapitulation. It's abstract, not awareness of the "me". Not the awareness of daily life.

First lecture Saturday
Taisha Abelar

Dreaming and stalking are the cornerstones. Seeing - seeing energy as it flows in the universe. Shamans see thousands of luminous fibres crisscrossing in the universe. They see they can form configurations of different forms, bell-shapes, a ball, most often a circle sphere. The shine of the assemblage point makes it possible for sorcerers to see that it is a human being they are seeing. Everyone has the assemblage point in roughly the same spot. The assemblage point allows us to perceive a homogenous world. It is a point of assemblage, where the input is collected, a point of perception and interpretation. The interpretation system - the human form, the human mold. This allows for intersubjectivity to take place, so all humans perceive the same world.

The assemblage point moves in sleep, but always returns to the same spot, unless you practice the art of dreaming, which is utilizing ordinary dreams as an entrance to other realms of being through an intentional movement. In dreaming vision is chaotic and fleeting, it is glimpses of other worlds of no real value for sorcerers. This is because the assemblage point is fluctuating, it is not stabilized at the new position. To rectify this, the art of stalking was developed. It is the possibility to hold the assemblage point fixed to any position it has been moved to. "Hold that dream", a perfect definition for stalking. We all hold this dream as we construct the "reality of everyday life" (a term from phenomenology). The drawback is that all our energy is focused on the dream of ordinary life - what about all other possible dreams. The interpretation system gives us a false view, it makes us believe that "this" is all that exists.

The old shamans said that everyday life is not the only alternative. They searched for other worlds, "all inclusive", consistent worlds. During journeys in other worlds they discovered that certain movements, certain positions of the arms and legs produced a feeling of well-being. These movements came spontaneous in the sorcerers' dreams. Magical passes. They became the most important part of the sorcerers' life. They were practiced in dreaming with the dreaming body (energy body, the other). We all have a dreaming body but we are not aware of it. It is not available to us. A shaman has access to his dreaming body, he utilizes it daily, in daily life and in dreaming. Some can define their dreaming body so well that it becomes a copy, a replica of the normal body. It is impossible to tell whether a shaman is in his dreaming body or not.

Everything that had to do with dreaming and the dreaming body was shrouded in mystery, a sinister mood/feeling. Also the Magical Passes, they surrounded them with secrecy and rituals. The new practitioners have lost the rituals. Modern shamans are interested more in function and efficiacy. Secrecy and rituals are contrary to DJ's goals - an unencumbered journey. So that is why they four (the apprentices) decided to teach Tensegrity to anyone who wanted to learn. What is necessary is not ritual but flexibility of body and mind. To reinforce strength and agility to achieve the highest goal - to enter other realms of perception. The original intent of the magical passes is intact, and their capacity to produce well-being, harmony in all who practice.

Second lecture Saturday
(one of the Elements)

Everyday behavior spreads energy to the perifery of the luminous cocoon. Tensegrity pulls it back from the perifery to the vital centers so we can use this energy. We can use it for anything we want to do, to do it perfectly. Shamans use this inner energy to reach inner silence, to navigate in the dark sea of awareness.

Nothing in our daily life can get us energy. Don't do the passes in an everyday way - as exercise, fitness, martial arts, with Tv or radio on etc, or thinking. Do them in complete silence, concentrate completely. The intent is built in, it puts a pressure in the internal dialogue so it gets interrupted. If we break the stream of endless chatter we can gather seconds of silence, accumulate it like capital, until we reach a critical threshold where we reach total inner silence where we can see energy.

Tensegrity is a slow continuous process, continuous effort is needed, but not ordinary discipline. Most important is: Your body will do the movements it wants, as much as it wants. You don't necessarily have to do 10 repetitions. An inner dedication is needed.

Don't expect results, (do the passes for the hell of it). It is a slow gradual change, not spectacular. Your body will change, it will become flexible, supple, hard. You will get better concentration, sharper attention, which will help in stopping the inner dialogue. Piece by piece you gather energy. there can be side effects, but they don't have connection to the intent of the passes. Just accept, don't worry about them.

Learn a huge amount of moves to flood the kinesthetic memory, which puts pressure on the inner dialogue and helps to interrupt it. Collect seconds of inner silence. From total inner silence we can remember all the moves we've learnt. Do the passes as well as you remember, details isn't that important, just do it anyway. A group will remember more passes together, but beware of socialization, "me"-behaviour, authority issues, poor baby attitudes. Beware of group processes, but do it anyway.

The mass effect of a seminar creates a sense of urgency, which is the basis for unbending intent.

Third Lecture Saturday
Saia Alexander

Responsibility of decision making. We're always complaining, yes but... We are unsatisfied, This is a natural behavior under the circumstances of socialization, but not necessary.

Shamans deal with five of the energy centers, but not with the top of the head, it is occupied by another force (flyers?).

Questions and answers time:

Q: Where is La Gorda, Josefina etc?
A: (Florinda) They all disappeared 1985 just like DJ.

Q:Will they come back?
A: ( Florinda) Why should they?

Q: What about stalking?
A: (Florinda) It seems interesting to do dreaming and to stalk our neighbors. The important thing is to do recapitulation and to stalk yourselves. Find your patterns. Most people have only one basic pattern that they repond to the world with . Very complex people may have two.

Fourth lecture Saturday
Florinda Donner Grau

The old shamans had a special interest in freeing the womb. The second function of the womb is evolution. Evolution is perceiving energy as it flows in the universe.

Women have an extra organ for perception - the womb. The womb is like a black hole. Once women are released from socialization they realize they are beings capable of direct perception. They don't use it because they have no interest, because of socialization, it's learned. Passes for the womb give us a chance to understand what it means to free the womb. It is its natural ability for the second function. Men's organs are outside the body, therefore they cannot be used for perception. It is more difficult for men, not a natural gift. Men describe, women don't because women know, we are not interested in describing, both in everyday lifa and sorcery. Men have easier to speak than women. Men are compelled to speak, to construct with words. Women construct with feeling and action.

Women have to liberate themselves from socialization to develop the second function of the womb. The only way we know is to stop reproducing. Shamans believe evolution is the main reason for the development of perception. As a organism, biological beings, we cannot evolve, we can only evolve our perception. DJ said the dinosaurs intended evolution, they intended flight, wings were a biproduct of this intent. Women shamans intend this evolution.

Those moves (the womb series) are very strong. Men and women should do them carefully (Frsiktigt). Don't rub energy directly on the body, don't touch, just bring the energy there. If there are any side effects such as changes in the menstrual cycle, it is normal. The moves are like a drug.

Women are the pinnacle of evolution, but without the men it is not possible.

What's happened with sex? There is no sex? If you need to do it - do it. Ask yourself - how much energy do I have? We are born with a certain amount of energy that is related to the moment of our conception.

For women, they often feel no pleasure, they are feeling forced, that is wasted energy. No difference if you do it with a man or a woman. Our energy is usually not so large that we can have sex. We are trained to want it.

How women interpret energy through the womb is quite different from percieving with the assemblage point.

Fifth lecture Saturday
Taisha Abelar

The concrete is abstract in sorcery.

Intent is like a luminous beam that comes from the universe and transfixes us, it takes possession of us. ancient shamans said one can manipulate it once one is aware of it. Intent is self-aware and can respond to commands.

There are no procedures. Modern man wants manuals, praxis, methods, steps to follow - we want to know what to do. There are even books that tell us how to rekindle the flame in a relationship long after the embers have burned out! The only relationship that needs to be rekindled is our connection to intent. That is called dusting off the link with intent. Ritual is only a device to trap your attention, it has no other value. A single abstract act that covers everything - rekindling our connection with intent. Once the connection is established, we can use it. The act of using it is called intending. We are already linked with intent since we are alive and conscious. We have to bring this link into the realm of our consciousness - intending. It cannot be learned or taught.

To become conscious of the link, all we need is inner silence. Inner silence is a preliminary to intending.

Taisha used to be proud over her capacity to think, she was an academic, she told DJ that thinking was her best feature. DJ said: "If thinking is your best feature, then you're in bad shape. You do not know how to think! Why do you not shut up? They're not your thoughts anyway. You are only following the commands of the social order." That really set me thinking! Real change can only come when you are prepared to break with the social order.

Inner silence is a giant matrix for evolution, the result is direct knowledge, instantaneous. Everything has alredy happened and is already there. The only way to intend is from inner silence. One can reinforce physical vitality, well-being through the magical passes. They allow us to have that inner silence that gives us perception of eternity.

The large part of our information does not come from perceiving but from calling intent. We enrich our perception with intent. We only need a minimum of stimuli to create a whole world. We can interrupt this interpretation. We all have the potential for seeing. We can percieve energy directly as it flows in the universe. Our original state is to perceive and to intend instead of judging and comparing. The magical passes are a means of bypassing our interpretation. They moves us back to our original state. The passes enable us to construct a bridge with intent, and when we become aware of that bridge, our total potential becomes available - for action, perception.

Lecture Sunday
Florinda Donner Grau

The pragmatism for sorcerers are all acts that come from a point of practicality (inner silence).

How to build this bridge to intent? We build it by taking total responsibility for our actions. To take responsibility is to have no doubt. No opinions about one's own worth. Self-trust is total responsibility for one's actions.

Florinda tells about how she used to love to drive, she was a very good driver. Older Florinda told her she could not drive anymore. Once she had bought a new car, a convertible, and she drove down to Sonora to show Florinda the car. She was very excited, and suggested they go for a drive. Up to that point Florinda had no idea that older Florinda knew how to drive. They drove up in the mountains(?) and watched the beautiful sunset. Then older Florinda pushed the car down the mountain. It was completely wrecked. Florinda was very upset, she had no insurance and she had paid cash. Older Florinda said that was even better, then she could not buy a new one for quite a while. But There is no good public transportation in Los Angeles, I need a car. No you don't, you have plenty of friend you can call who will be delighted to drive you. But she didn't want to call Carlos because she didn't want him to know what she was doing.

This was the pragmatism of the old sorcerers. Florinda used driving to avoid really doing anything. (Don't we have to go there, or there etc...) We are all using some habit to avoid doing the work, and we need a pragmatic solution to it, even if it doesn't have to that drastic. Change your behavior.

The being who is going to die. We think that we are immortal beings. We have to understand physically that we are going to die. Then we can use it, it becomes our connection with eternity.

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